


Sillage

by coopstar



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Angst, Anosmia, Cute, Falling In Love, Family, Family Bonding, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, How Do I Tag, Insomnia, Love at First Sight, M/M, Neighbors, Ok done, Rain, Romantic Fluff, Sakura (Cherry Blossoms), Spring, Tags May Change, and maybe angst a little, but its cute, idk how to tag, lost of smell sense
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:28:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23873950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coopstar/pseuds/coopstar
Summary: seungcheol's sleepless night might have find it's solution with a pair of earphone and a new neighbor he met when he went back to his hometown after being suspended from his work.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> through each chapter i will recommend a song on top of the paragraph with bold and italics word. idk if it's ur forte, but just felt like to do so

**_Shlovesyou – Cure_ **

It’s raining outside when Seungcheol glances over the clock on the wall; it shows 1:30 in the morning and he is still plopping on the couch, pinching his nose bridge. He makes a beeline to the kitchen while massaging his head and pulls himself cold water from the fridge before gulping it down in one shot. Despite his pulses that are about to pop out from his brain, the sound of rain splattering against his bedroom window somehow calms him down and just like that, once again, his sleepless night is spend leaning against the window as he closes his eyes.

-

The warmth of sun crawls on his back, waking him up. It is rather hot, not chilly warm like 7 in the morning and before he could grip his hazy brain, his phone rings. Forcefully sitting straight on the bed, he grabs his phone and answers it.

“Hyung, don’t you have clock in your house?”

“I do, Seokmin.” He groaningly answers, eyes adjusting at the sudden stream of light that trespasses into his room through the sheen layer of the billowing curtain.

“Great, because it is now 11:30 am.”

His eyes instantly widens when he whips his head at the small desk where his clock is perfectly…laughing at him.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner?” He jerks at the other line of call, snatching the towel from the wooden chair and throws the phone on his bed before storming into the bathroom.

After washing himself, he quickly grabs whatever work attire in his wardrobe and put it on without checking himself in the mirror. Along the way, he spares a few minutes to fill his stomach with pastries and drives to his workplace. He doesn’t have time to appreciate the weather today which he usually does- dramatically gazing up at the clear sky and a sigh will escape from him as he sips onto his morning coffee.

Once he steps out from his car after parking it, a petal falls onto his shoulder, swayed by the gentle afternoon breeze. The corner of his lips twitches and instead of brushing it off, he picks it and keeps it into his coat’s pocket. _Oh, a hopeless romanticist_.

Its spring, Seungcheol remembers, oh the season of people discovering new things or he prefers the ‘beautiful way of falling in love’. He is, indeed, a dream boy on broad daylight.

“You had lunch?”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes upon stepping inside the campus to be welcomed by Wonwoo, his colleague who is also his best friend since high school, followed by Seokmin at his behind.

“Cut it off,” says Seungcheol, not having any of their sarcasm.

Seokmin crosses his arms, “They postponed it. The principal is having lunch.”

“I hate him. Is he one of the committee?” Seungcheol grumbles, lips puckering.

“You need to be disciplined. He’s close with the committees; of course he would tag along just to see you stutter inside the room.”

Seungcheol retorts, “I don’t stutter.”

“Yeah, whatever.” They continue to walk inside the building, passing by the crowd of art majors who are chattering to each other than minding their surrounding and briefly bows at the three of them with a wide, more like an expected smile spread on their faces.

“The kids surely love you.” Wonwoo comments.

“All hell breaks loose when he smiles, that’s what the contagious rumors sound about.” Seokmin adds when they enter the elevator.

Seungcheol bites down his flatter and exchanges his gaze on them. “Don’t you two have classes?”

They arrive at the 5th floor, where the briefing room is located. “Just wanted to walk you here. It’s scary to be here, especially when the whole building smells like Professor Minhwan.”

A harsh slap lands on Wonwoo’s arm, “Hyung, that’s creepy.”

“Jesus Wonwoo, you and your filthy mouth.” Seungcheol enters the foyer, scanning the room.

Wonwoo laughs, “Loosen it. Text us once you’re done.” He taps Seungcheol’s shoulder and he nods, closing the door.

For the first minute, he walks back and forth inside the room, clasping his hands together before he sits on the chair, forearms glued onto his thighs and his feet are busy tapping against the tiled floor. He’s nervous – a bit scary too. He is Choi Seungcheol - 27, one of the youngest lecturers in the campus teaching medieval literature which he doesn’t know how he ends up with, has his students regardless genders swooning over him wherever he goes and fact is just like Seokmin said, ‘one smile is enough’ but he’s pretty good, to be honest, except not having a girlfriend because he doesn’t like commitments. Decently mastering 4 languages – Japanese, Russian, Chinese and English added with his native, that’s 5 in total. Settled down, has his own house and car and he’s a filial son too, wiring his parents a part of his salary is not a big deal for him. Why it should be? He’s a grown up man and they are his parents.

Yet he is here, in the chilly room, is summoned for disciplinary conduct which was supposed to proceed at 10 am but he, he was his usual self – woke at almost 12 and maybe heaven is on his side that the conduct is postponed to 2 pm. He glances over his wrist watch just when the door opens, followed by middle-aged men in black suits. He quickly stands, bowing at them and stands politely.

“Mr. Choi?” _Pluck_ _up, Choi. This is nothing._

Finally, after what felt like eternity, he comes out of the room after 30 minutes with tensed face. Scratching his throat, he loosens his tie, hand pocketing his phone.

“Jeon, let’s meet at 7,”

Ending the call, he leisurely walks to his office building. Thinking about nothing, he passes by the herb garden where the agriculture majors are busy with their practical tests. He quietly stares at them, it feels good. Arriving at his cabin, he arranges paper sheets on his table and checks his schedule for tomorrow’s class since he doesn’t have one today. He puts the papers into his file and cleans his desk.

His desk is a mess – filled with crumpled tissues and papers, leftovers and just trashes everywhere. He usually doesn’t eat outside for lunch during his work time because he prefers lunchbox. He’s an average cook, agreeable. No matter how many times he fails in kitchen department, YouTube is only his guideline so he learns from there and tries different dishes which he gradually improves. But since a month ago, he doesn’t bring lunchbox anymore because he always wake up late and he doesn’t have time for cook and always end up eating instant noodles.

The disciplinary conduct was carried on because of his late arrival to campus. Despite being warned for a month, he failed to be on time and the committees are not tolerating him anymore. Well, good news is he is suspended for 2 weeks which supposed to be a bad news but he has an outlook on the positivity spread on his unlucky side – he can get a good amount of sleep, break free from stress and no more classes which also mean he can try to look for a solution for his insomnia. Sighing, he curses under his mumble. _Fucking, sleep trouble._

The time is 3 pm when he climbs into his car, pulling off his coat as soon as he turns on the AC. Swaying, the cherry blossom tree casts a shadow onto his car and the reflection peeks into the car, as if it’s a blanket to let Seungcheol sleep for a while. So he did, he pushes his seat to the back and rests his head against it, slowly closing his eyes. His eyes are actually stinging since he woke up hurriedly and he’s sleepy too. Smoothly massaging his closed eyes, he sighs again and his shaky breath escapes. He can’t focus anything because his insomnia is deteriorating but he promises himself to not let any of it to block his ways.

He’s trying to stay positive as much as he can but he can’t deny that he is actually draining – he needed a break, he thought and now he has it.

The cold temperature becomes his excuse to dive deep into his afternoon nap, forgetting where he is taking the nap – in his car. The petals fall onto his car when a strong wind hits it, jumping him from his sleep. Instantly sitting straight, he rubs his eyes and grips his confused brain for a moment.

Just then, he sees it – feel like his consciousness is back when he catches a glance of a boy, in a soft blue sweater, smiling so radiantly and gazing at the ostentatious water fountain. In the car, Seungcheol quietly steal glances on him, elbows perched on the car’s window. Maybe this was it, why he decided to rest first in the car before driving back to home – to witness this.

Another breeze passes, and the petals lost in the spring air – magically towards the boy. Seungcheol fixes his eyes on him when he ambles to the bike rack, still wearing the same smile on his face. The evening sun breaks through the crowded clouds and brings threads of lights, exquisitely shining on him and everything looks perfect and just like that, his heart has become calm.

His stinging eyes don’t hurt anymore and the throbbing pulses have faded.

Does he like to smile? Or is it his normal face? Seungcheol wonders because he is well-known in the campus and he knows almost every student in the campus. He is familiar with them, but this face – is quite unique and unknown. He isn’t sure but he is willing to know about them, he’s a man with overflowing curiosity.

The boy catches one of the petals and brings it close to his nose. Seungcheol watches it – how his nose scrunches when he sniffs at the blade, wearing an expression of uncertainty of the smell. The sight is just mesmerizing because first, Seungcheol doesn’t know who is him and second, he is beautiful – it’s rare to see this kind of beauty (Seungcheol doesn’t know how to describe the adjectives like a poet even when he majored literature) as if he is beyond of every beautiful poems written.

When Seungcheol’s lip starts to spread across his face, the boy blows an air at the petal on his palm, letting it into the void of evening ambience and just then Seungcheol is reminded of the petal he kept in his coat’s pocket. He quickly grabs the coat on the backseat and gropes for it. Once he finds it, he picks it in between his thumb and index finger and places a kiss on it before blowing it away, along with the same breeze – hoping the two of it will meet somehow in the spring breeze.

[7 pm]

Seungcheol walks out of the car, having no energy to even enter the entrance. His phone buzzes and he answers it.

“I’m at outside. Wait.” Is what he said before disappearing into the crowd, loud music everywhere throbbing his whole body and the humidity – god, Seungcheol wants to puke at the different smells of people exuding from the heated ground. Multiple lights blind him to find his way to Wonwoo who is sitting on the stool at the drink section, hands dangerously sliding into the thigh of a lady next to him. Wonwoo is a flirt, even with a decent profession.

“Wonwoo,” he calls and the said man snaps at him, arm is lifted in the air, signaling him to come over.

They slide onto the couch next to the counter as Wonwoo winks at the lady.

“When will you ever change?” Seungcheol snorts while ordering him vodka.

Wonwoo takes a sip from his drink, “Girls love me. Can’t be helped.”

“And sneakily touches them?”

“We’re in a goddamn club, what do you expect?” Wonwoo defends.

“Whatever, Wonwoo. You’re a math prof.”

“Not letting my profession into my personal commitment.” Wonwoo laughs and clatters their glasses together.

For a while, they didn’t chat. Seungcheol just studies the people on the dance floor, so reckless and carefree. He wishes he could be like them, a little nonchalant and having no worries but growing up doesn’t allow him. Going to club and drinking aren’t a big deal for him – he loves being drunk because for him, that’s the only moment he can get lost and try to be a tiny bit honest of himself, at least. In his 27 years of life, he hasn’t had sex. He had 2 ex-girlfriends but in their relationship period, he had never sexually attracted to any of them even when they initiated it first.

He dated them only because his mother introduced them to him through a blind date. _Old folks._

At first, he thought he was just weird but after seeking for internet help, he found out something about asexuality – in which he believes he is one of it. When he told Seokmin about it, his reaction was more to disgusted rather than shocked.

“There’s Seokmin,” Wonwoo shouts, pulling Seungcheol from his deep rooted thoughts. They hugged in ‘bro style’

“What did they say?”

Seungcheol places his glass on the glass counter after sipping it, “Who? The committee?” They nod.

“Suspended for 2 weeks.” Is only what Seungcheol answered.

After cheering for the crowd, Seokmin asks, “How’s your insomnia hyung?”

A silence falls on him, unable to process any words as an answer. Wonwoo taps his back, “Are you serious you don’t want to go for a doctor?”

“I’m planning to. I have 2 weeks of break.”

-

In the morning when he woke up, he thought he would do anything productive to fill his spare time but now it’s 3 pm and he is still on the messy bed – blankets and tissue boxes on the floor, laundry basket is filled with his one week long dirty clothes, windows are covered in dust and every other things are practically in a mess.

It’s just the second day of his suspension and he is already bored. He doesn’t know what to do (he tried to find new hobby, but nothing works for him)

Groaningly, he cleans his room, except the window. He picks the trash and throws it into the trash bin and put his dirty clothes into the washing machine before going into the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. He then makes himself toast and since he didn’t eat yet, he adds cereal too.

His mind is continuously saying how much he hates it – to stay at home doing nothing. Soon, the phone buzzes, indicating him that he has new messages arrived and when he clicks to open them, it is flooded with multiple messages.

**_[Class ML/20]_ **

+010456… : Sir, when are you coming back?

+010776… : I heard you got suspended :(

+010298… : Prof Hwall is skipping our last chapter.

+010470… : I miss you, Sir <3

+010219… : We miss you, Sir

+010298… : Can’t wait to see you, Sir!!

You: Guys, don’t worry, I’ll come back soon and will treat you guys sushi!

It’s just for 2 weeks.

Don’t be naughty and listen to Prof Hwall!

A tiny smile lands on his face upon reading upcoming messages; he is sure loved by many kids in the campus. Rubbing his face, he gets up, and goes to kitchen – he needs to clean all the cabinets, stove, sort out foods and throws away the expired foods.

“Why there are so many expired snacks?!” Angrily mumbling, he pouts. “My favorite snack,”

By the time he cleaned everything, the time strikes 7 pm and he is already sweating.

[“Your students are so whipped for you,”] says Wonwoo when he calls him.

“They miss me.”

[“They’re giving me letters to give it to you. What am I? Parcel boy?”]

“Just put in on my desk.”

[“It’s already full.”]

“Wonwoo-ya, do you know any student in our campus who comes with a bicycle?”

[“How am I supposed to know that? There are 3 bike racks in the campus.”]

Seungcheol scratches his hair, trying to remember anything specific. “A small guy, chestnut hair, silver colored bicycle,” He hums, “Small mouth, eyes like hazel, and… oh! He was wearing blue sweater on last Monday.”

The other side of line stays silent. “Wonwoo?”

[“Why are you looking for him?”]

Right, why is Seungcheol searching for him? Even he doesn’t have an answer but he wants to meet the guy again, no matter how long it will take, he wants to see him again but the suspension isn’t helping him.

“I…just,” He trails.

[“Tuition? Personal tutor?”]

“Ah…it was nice seeing him.” _What the fuck?_

Once again, Wonwoo doesn’t speak but Seungcheol can sense that he is smirking. “Don’t laugh at me.”

[“I didn’t,”] He defenses himself; an audible chuckle slips through the call.

“Look, it’s nothing. I just saw him that day and thought it will be nice if I get to know him.”

[“You’re so worked up of the specified details of the guy – small mouth, hazel eyes,”]

“You know what? I’m hanging up.”

He throws his phone to the side on the couch, trying to ease his tightened chest when he feels a sudden heat crawling on his cheeks.

“What the hell, Seungcheol? Calm down.” He whispers.

_Beep._

**_Wonwoo : asexual my ass_ **

The next night was a hell for him, the usual – he can’t sleep. The time is already 12:30 a.m. but he can’t sleep when he promised to meet his parents tomorrow at 8 a.m.

His mom called earlier, telling him that they’re going for a picnic with their neighbor and it’ll be nice if he comes along. Seungcheol instantly agreed since he is dying out of boredom and packed some snacks.

Even after reading 512 pages of novel, he isn’t sleepy so he grabs his phone to search for the radio app and turns it on after plugging earphone into it. Laying flat on the bed, he closes his eyes and listens to the DJ chattering.

_“I have my friend with me, who prefers to be called as Han. Let’s welcome him.”_

_“Annyeonghaseyo.”_

Seungcheol’s eyelids flutter at the voice.

_“Why don’t you tell me about yourself?”_

He slowly opens his eyes, adjusting the earphone.

_“Hello listeners, I’m Han. I’m a social science major.”_

_‘_ Why are they having a talk show at this hour?’ Seungcheol mumbles.

_“The topic for our talk show this evening is about herbs, so tell me Han, what intrigued you to take interest in herb study?”_

‘But he’s a social science major?’

The owner of the soft voice starts with a little laugh, _“I’m a social science but I took interest in herbs because I was curious of their smell, what kind of scent they exude. During break time in the campus, I would go to the herb garden just to pass my time. Being there is a feeling of relaxation and serene. When I do my assignments, it’s actually helpful.”_

_“It’s interesting. Why didn’t you take courses that are related to herbs?”_

_“I would say that herbs also play a part in social science study, at least for me.”_

_“How’s that?”_

_“Basically studying sociology is dealing with human’s emotions and behavior while herbs also help in relaxing human. We can use herbs as a medium to communicate with them.”_

Seungcheol is impressed. Not bad, he thinks. A sociology student is interested in herbs. How thoughtful. But Seungcheol is more drawn to the voice, it sounds familiar. He speaks again – voice like fruity and small but hearty. Recalling, Seungcheol really thinks he has seen this guy somewhere based on his voice and his memory is trailed to the day he met the petal guy.

‘Petal guy’ - how weird – Seungcheol named him since he doesn’t know his name.

_“Let’s take break for a while before we continue our talk today and here’s Midnight Love by Girl in Red.”_

When Seungcheol wakes in the morning, his phone is lying beside him and thank god, he is up at the time. Blinking, his gaze is drifted to the dust particle swaying in the morning air and he smiles knowing he had a good sleep.

Finally, after an hour drive, he arrives at the destination – Noeul Park. Since his mom said she’ll come with their neighbor, he calls her only to know that they haven’t arrived yet so he leans against his car, waiting for them.

After 15 minutes, a car parks beside his car and he quickly adjusts his shirt, standing straight. At the sight of his mom coming out of the car, his chest relaxes. A smile softly stretched across his face. Running into her, he hugs her. The woman who gave him birth is in her mid-50 but still looks beautiful as ever.

“My son,”

He greets his neighbor, who is with her daughter. “Seungcheol-ah, it’s been months since I saw you.”

“I’ve been busy. Thank you for bringing my mom.”

Her daughter is quiet so Seungcheol crouches in front of her, pressing his lips together.

“Hi!”He starts. “I’m Seungcheol oppa. How old are you?”

The girl’s eyes waver like she’s scared because she has never seen him before. Reaching his hands to pinch her cheeks, she looks at him. “7 years old,” She answers with a quick smile and he finds it adorable. He loves kids.

“Cheol-ah,” his mom calls and he quickly runs to her to help them to carry the picnic basket.

“Let’s sit here. Shady and cool.”

With that, they spread the mat on the grass and arrange the snacks on it. It has been long time since he went out to take a fresh air especially with his mother. The park is well-known for campground. It’s quiet and on the backside away from subways and the parking lots. The greenery around him soothes him when he sits on the mat, hugging his knees as he adores the morning sun swiftly spreading light across the vast sky.

“You don’t work today, Seungcheol?”

“I have 2 weeks of break, Aunt Juyeong.” He shyly says, not admitting he was suspended.

“Have you been doing well?” His mom asks him as she caresses his cheek while looking at him fondly. _I miss this._

Seungcheol climbs his hand on top of his mother’s and dives into the touch as he places a kiss on her palm. “I am. How about you?”

She weakly drops her head, “I am fine now that I see my son.”

Gnawing onto his lower lip, he blinks to absorb the water pooling his eyes. He misses this – the touch that soothes him, the fond look that reminds him that he is loved and the voice that makes him turn into a child. He has been so lost in the busy city’s building that he had no time to go home to his parents, the only place that makes him, him.

“Where’s dad?” Now that he realizes his father is not here.

“He doesn’t want to come; he went to the folks gathering.”

“Aish,” Seungcheol sighs. “His son came though,”

She ruffles his hair and turns to help Juyeong. She passes him toasted sandwich – his favorite. Taking a bite, he feeds the kid whose name is Areum. She sits on his lap, playing with his earlobe.

“Is it delicious?”

She nods, a little enthusiastically, “My mom made it so it’s delicious.”

He burst into a breathy laugh, not expecting the boastful answer. “Ah!” He snaps. “I brought some snacks too. It’s in my car.” Placing her on the ground gently, he runs to his car after getting consent from his mother.

Upon arriving at his car, he unlocks it and takes out the paper bag from the backseat and decides to just take a leisure walk. Passing by the trees that are standing in an occasionally straight line, his cheek welcomes the slow wind and he starts to think how great it would be if he lives in a forest but the horror awakening of him possibly served as a free meal to brutal creatures in the deep of unknown woods shuts the thought off.

But that’s it – his point, to live as freely as he can.

He enjoys doing things – _his_ things – alone. Peace is what he finds in it. Despite that, he hates the idea of him going home to absolutely nothing but the sound of water dripping from his unrepaired sink and the cold floor. In the period of him dating, he never once felt contented in what he was doing. Most of the time, he just followed what Jieun (his first ex) said because she’s a cheerful girl who always wants someone by her side but by doing that, he was suffocated and there wasn’t an escape. A week later, Jieun broke up with him over a call. Guess he was only that worthy. She stated her frustration and how she saw the changes in him like he was forcing himself in the relationship and he apologized countless times. He knew he was an asshole for not treating a woman rightfully especially _the woman he loved._

Did he love her? Or was that an infatuation? Love because of sympathy and guilt?

Lost in his thoughts, he stands in front of a lake. The water seems peaceful. When he was a kid, his mother always brought him to a park in their hometown which is now developed as a kids playing station. Every once a month, they’ll go for a picnic – accompanied by nature and family, it felt good and wholesome. He hasn’t gone home for almost a year and half. Hustle in the education building never gave him a chance to be with his family. Its spring and Seungcheol thinks to follow his mother to go home and stay there until his suspension is over.

Grinning upon at the thought, he continues his walk to their picnic spot but halts when Areum runs towards him.

“Areum-ah,” He calls and crouches when she catches her breath, her small hands on his shoulder.

“You got a call,” She says, his phone in her grip. Seungcheol is in awe when he pulls her closer by her spine and gently pats her as he takes his phone.

“Aigoo, why did you run when I’m coming?” He stands, carrying her on his waist and the paper bag is given to her to hold.

When they almost reach, Areum suddenly jumps to be released. “Jeonghan oppa!”

She calls someone’s name and tells Seungcheol to let her go so he does for her to run towards a candy shop at the right.

Bewildered, Seungcheol follows her and spots a back figure of a chestnut haired man talking to the shop owner when Areum taps his waist giddily, wearing a big smile on her face.

The guy turns and looks down to see Areum and he let out a happy face upon cupping her face.

That is when Seungcheol finds his heart tugging inside his chest and dramatically feels his surroundings have stopped moving when he recognizes the man.

_“A small guy, chestnut hair, silver colored bicycle, small mouth, eyes like hazel,”_

His eyes slowly dilate and he has stopped in his track a few meters away from them, not brave enough to approach closer. Standing by the sideways, he watches them – what was his name? Jeonghan? Ah, the Jeonghan guy holding her hand and giving her a big lollipop and one for him. They are talking and Areum is laughing when Jeonghan whines in pout.

_Oh my, oh my._

_That’s so fucking cute! What the hell?!_

_He can pout with that small mouth of him?_

Leveling to her height, he pinches her nose and teasingly steals her candy but she is quick to retreat her hand. Did she forget about him? He is standing like a loner on the street, watching over them who are having fun on their own across the street.

As if Areum can read his mind, her gaze drops on him and he freezes – wishing that she’ll not call him.

“Seungcheol oppa,”

Breath is practically stuck in his nose when Jeonghan turns at the call, looking at him when they jog across the road.

_He is looking at me._

Casually responding, Seungcheol nods curtly at him as a sign of greeting and pulls a small and awkward yet happy smile over his face.

When Areum was sucking on her candy, Seungcheol throws a question. “You guys know each other?” Great, he manages to not stutter.

Jeonghan nods and if Areum doesn’t chime in, Seungcheol might not have torn his stare from him. Jeonghan’s whole figure is serene and he is unable to escape from it.

“Jeonghan oppa is my friend’s tutor.”

_A tutor?_

“Yes,” He says and in a flash, his memory is pushed back into a vague, familiar voice he once heard.

“I’m Jeonghan,” he reaches out his hand and Seungcheol quickly accepts it while thinking: _“I’ve heard this name somewhere.”_

“I’m Seungcheol,”

With that, they head back and upon arriving, Juyeong quickly hauls him in an embrace and his mother pats his head when he kisses her on the back of her hand.

_They’re close to this extent?_

They sit in a circle, passing the foods and enjoying the meal.

“What are you doing here Jeonghan?” Juyeong asks, wiping Areum’s mouth.

“I came here for a research and Areum came running to me.”

Seungcheol’s mother adds, “ _Your_ research?” He nods, cleaning his mouth.

Sitting there, Seungcheol feels like he’s an outsider when Jeonghan is much closer to them. Everyone seems to love him _very much_ and he slightly envies it - the attention he always craved for.

His mother is sitting between them and he steals glances on him from time to time. Under the golden light, his profile is full on perfect display – his hazel orbs with a drop of sunlight in it always catching people’s attention on him, he notices that he scrunches his nose when he laughs and his pale pink-tinted mouth is always stretched into a genuine smile like it is the most natural habit of him, his cheekbones are painted in a light rose and his skin is so smooth as if a piece of silk is draped all over his skin.

Seungcheol remembers the touch from earlier, when they shook hand. It’s not like the 5 seconds long contact sent an electrifying spark through his spine but powerful enough to flutter him and for him to remember the silky touch all over his life.

 _What’s up with me?_ A screeching beep hits his ear.

“Seungcheol?” He snaps when his mother hit his thigh, calling him when he was so lost writing a poem in his head upon seeing Jeonghan.

Faking a cough to reduce the awkwardness when Jeonghan is also staring at him as if all of them waiting for him to open his mouth, he does. “Yes?”

“How’s your work?”

“It’s the usual, classes and classes and sometimes has to meet students personally for tutor purpose.” He sighs, “Overall, it’s all good.”

Juyeong clasps her hand suddenly like she just remembered something, “Seungcheol is a professor at Seoul University right? Jeonghan too is finishing his study this year right?”

It’s Jeonghan’s turn to speak, “Seungcheol-ssi…”

_Seungcheol-ssi? That sounds lame._

“It’s okay, drop the honorifics.”

“You guys must be the same age.” His mom adds.

“I’m studying sociology at Seoul University too,”

As if it is new to Seungcheol’s ear, he blinks in surprise. “I have never seen you,”

“I transferred there last month and most of my classes are on afternoon. Maybe that’s why we’ve never met.” Jeonghan clarifies.

_But I saw you._

“But I saw you,” Comes from the chestnut haired guy who actually acknowledged Seungcheol’s existence in the campus.

“My son is 27. Jeonghan is?” His mom interrupts, palm rested on Seungcheol’s thigh.

“I’m 26,”

So the rest of the morning is spent by chattering and laughing while Areum climbs onto Jeonghan’s lap and just by seeing the sight of the man and the little girl playing adorably with no purpose set his heart in a breezy atmosphere. _He’s good with kids._ He takes a stroll around the lake and he feels like a loner again.

There is something about Jeonghan whom he met twice that makes him calmer – he can’t quite describe it but yeah, _serene._ So when Jugyeong and his mother were packing to go home, Seungcheol jogs towards them.

“I’m thinking to come home,” He states, turning his mother to face him in a surprise.

“You?” He nods, puffing a breath at how she is not believing him.

“But I need to go back and pack my clothes then I’ll be here by night.”

From distance, he can see Areum clinging onto Jeonghan’s hand and approaching them so he throws a glance over them before focusing back at his mother.

“Great now that Seungcheol is coming home, Areum is also on school break.”

The thought of him going back to the home which he hasn’t stepped into for almost 2 years to spend his break with his parents and having a little girl to play with excites him but on the other hand, not being able to see Jeonghan in that period somehow wrenches his heart. _God, he’s so dramatic._ It’s not like he can see him even if he stayed in his house since he’s under suspension but he did think to casually go to the campus just to greet Wonwoo and Seokmin or _coincidentally_ running into Jeonghan and go out for a cup of a coffee - just to get to know each other – and they can develop a friendship that maybe, just maybe has a tiny little possibilities to turn into…

“Jeonghan are you coming too?” Asks his mother to him.

_Why would he come too?_

“Yes,”

_Huh?_

Then, Areum’s jumps answers his doubts. “So I can go to Juju’s house everyday!” She exclaims.

“Juju?” The name slips Seungcheol’s mouth from the curious bubbles inside his throat.

“Juju is my friend, the kid Jeonghan oppa tutors. Juju is Oppa’s nephew, Kwangju.”

_What the fuck?!! The heaven’s on my side! He lives in the neighborhood too!_

He stands there, desperately biting his urge to grin and containing his excitement that is knocking onto his chest. Another reason is added to why he should go home.

“Seungcheol, quick, pack your things now – it’s already afternoon. I don’t want you to drive at night.”

Happily walking to his parked car, he sees Jeonghan hoping into a black Honda City which is parked not too far from him. Quickly starting the engine, he drives to Jeonghan who was about to reverse his car.

“So, see you later.” Says Seungcheol over the rolled down window to receive playful smirk from Jeonghan over his shoulder.

“See you.”

_But why is he so giddy about seeing the ‘small guy, chestnut hair, silver colored bicycle, small mouth, eyes like hazel’?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi :) so this au is smthg i considered a lot bfr writing it bc i loved the prompt that i came up with so i hope yall love this :))
> 
> thanks to my jc fam, they encouraged me to write this and also reyn! thanks for proofreading it
> 
> i love yall 💛 
> 
> twitter : @cheorryl  
> cc: https://curiouscat.qa/eunjispring


	2. Chapter 2

**_Baek Jiwoong – Cheek_ **

He was about to open his eyes when his nose tickles, causing him to sneeze and a slick, warm touch wipes across his face and he hears a low jingle. Opening his eyes, he is welcomed by a small, white creature which is tapping his cheek. Letting out a laugh, he takes Kkuma in his chest, tucking her as he smooches her.

When he came home from school, he saw a bruised puppy lying lifelessly on an abandoned field and took it home. He was 16 when he brought Jjokkumi to their house. He always played with the little dog every time he was back from school since he is an only child. Most of his teenage years were spent with her and he was the happiest with her. After several years, she fell sick and gifted them Kkuma before it passed away. He still remembers how devastated he was when he came home for his semester break to hear his mom saying his father had buried Jjokkumi.

He was 22.

For a week, he couldn’t eat well and was down to the point he almost couldn’t finish his assignments. But when he saw Kkuma playfully running around their house, her tongue dangling with an alluring smile whenever she climbs onto the couch where Seungcheol usually took a nap, he couldn’t resist her. She is Jjokkumi’s daughter after all. Like a magnetic field, she always draws Seungcheol’s attention towards her. His days became better.

At 25, when he finished his studies and he had to live in the city, no matter how forcefully he debated with his mother to let Kkuma stay with him in the apartment, her final answer was no with an exclamation mark.

“You’ll abandon her. She will not get enough attention and you’ll be busy.”

“Mom, she’s my sweetheart, how could I ignore her?” He tried to convince her but in vain.

But even after all these years, Kkuma still remembers him and she has grown but still looks tiny in his hold. She sniffles at him and licks his face, knocking him on the bed.

When he closes his eyes, a fresh scent of lavender hits his nose and he pulls the blanket to cover his whole figure, curling under it and Kkuma joins in. After a while, he lays flat on his back, gazing up at the empty ceiling while she is running in circle on the blanket. Seungcheol is at his hometown, in his parents’ house which he didn’t come home to for 1 year and half. It’s his 3rd day of suspension and he is grateful for it.

Usually at this hour, Seungcheol would be at the campus, spilling his morning coffee once he stepped out from his car and his mouth would be messed with bread crumbs of the sweet bun he always eat as the first thing before starting his day. Not a day passes of him getting a sharp glare from Proffesor Minhwan and a 5 minute nag from the grumpy-faced principal whenever they bumped into each other. Wonwoo would be teasing him during the lunch while Seokmin would be stuffed with papers. He would be in the lecture hall for 5 hours and in his office until his work is done.

But now he’s just on his bed at the house where he grew up.

It should be like this – a slow progress instead of hustling just to keep up with others’ pace.

He didn’t realize when he fell asleep after getting home. But he was tired when he threw himself on the bed and a pair of earphone was inserted in his ear while he listened to the voice of the guy named Han.

Running downstairs, home cooked meals which he missed for so long welcomes him and he quickly takes a seat on the dining table. His mother wipes her hand on the towel and sits next to him as she serves him the fish soup and bbimbimbap.

“Did you sleep well?” He nods, digging into the meal in front of him.

“Where’s dad?”

“Jogging.”

“Does he even know that his son has come home?”

“We’ll have dinner together,” With a smile, his mom dismisses to laundry.

“Is he not working today?”

“You’re home; do you think he’ll go to work?”

Along with a gleeful content, Seungcheol quietly munches his food, eyeing Kkuma who is running outside. His mother’s food is always the best, no matter what because she is a great cook since they owned a grilled fish restaurant previously in Mapo but since they had to travel from Daegu to Mapo every day, his father decided to quit the business. But his father is a determined person; her mother said he is trying to start again at the beachside.

Seungcheol’s family is just an average family but to have a son working as a professor at such a young age; it’s truly because of his hard work to pursue better life. His mother runs a tailoring business and owns a small boutique in the town while his father served the military in medical few years back and now he is one of the board members of a golf club. Most of his sweaters that he wears to campus on winter are made by his mother and she made blankets from embroidery.

He takes the bowl of the fish soup and downs it before he chokes on it, earning a head shake from his mother. Letting the broth to boil, she takes a seat and stares at her handsome son whose face she yearned and worried a lot. Noticing faint black circles under his eyes, she reaches her hand to touch it and he willingly leans in.

She runs her thumb over his eyelids and closes her eyes. “My son is working really hard.”

“Mom, it’s okay. I’m fine. I’m here now, I’m really okay.” He soothes her, kissing her hands.

Swallowing her sobs, she retreats her hand and checks the broth. “You’re going back after few days, how can I not be sad?”

_Right._

Walking to her and places his chin on her shoulders, he says, “I promise to come when I have break.”

“Weekend?”

He takes a step back, “I can’t promise that,” He halts, clicking on his tongue before continuing, “I might have extra classes on weekends.”

She turns away, now busy stirring the broth. When he tries to coax her, a rough voice disrupts them.

“Honey, give me a glass of water.”

Minutes later, Seungcheol heads to the living room with a glass of water in his hands and a smile on his face. “Dad,” his voice is rather small and disappointed.

“Seungcheol-ah,” His father calls, spreading his arms welcomingly as he takes off his coat.

Like a little child, he pouts and fits himself into his father’s embrace. “Your son is here but you went out?”

They pull back, his father taps his arms. “I waited for you last night but it was late so I slept and I always jog early in the morning.”

Seungcheol doesn’t take the excuses and gives him the water. “Did you miss me?”

“That should be me asking you that,” He shots, an evident of red paint are over Seungcheol’s face.

“Because I missed you two, now that I’m here.”

“You were so busy in the city that I forget I actually have a son.”

“The two of you, enough.” His mother comes. “Seungcheol-ah, go to Juyeong’s and ask her if she has bell peppers. I want four of them.”

Obediently nodding, he puts on his shoe and walks to Juyeong’s house which is 4 blocks away and spots Areum is playing alone at the yards. Without making any noise that could startle her, he jumps over the fence that confines the yard and tiptoes to approach her.

“Areum-ah,” He whispers.

Confused of where the voice comes from, she turns her head to search for it until Seungcheol kneels in front of her and pinches her cheek lightly.

“Seungcheol-oppa, what are you doing here?”

“To meet your mother.” He stands, hands reaching for her to hold it. She leads him into their house while calling for her mother.

“Mom, oppa came!”

“Whose oppa?” From the dining room, Juyeong rushes as she wipes her hand on the apron she’s wearing. Seungcheol politely bows with a curt nod and smiles awkwardly at her as he clasps his hands together.

“Seungcheol-ah, what brings you here?”

“My mom asked for bell peppers. She wants 4 of it.”

Her mouth turns into ‘o’ shape as she tells Seungcheol to sit and serves him a drink while she goes to the backyard to pluck some.

Areum hops on the sofa and snuggles closer to him as she opens a coloring book and holding crayons. Being fond of kids, Seungcheol pulls her closer by her waist and drapes an arm around her. He just watches Areum having fun by coloring the cartoon characters.

“What color do you like?” She asks, not facing him as she is busy coloring.

Without thinking much, he answers. “Purple.”

Areum quickly finds the color purple in her color box and colors the leaves. He is confused and amazed at the same time when he sees leaves are in purple color.

“Aren’t leaves should be in green?”

Comically, she face-palms herself and turns on her knee to face him. “Not everything should be based on reality. Imagine and have fun.”

A seven year old girl showed him a new perspective of life and his reaction is, “Wow.” Then, she continues to color the hill in blue. “You’re clever.”

“I know.” She laughs.

Quietly watching over her, he hears a knock on the door with a gentle, “Juyeong Noona,” He immediately recognizes the voice as he runs to the front door to find Jeonghan smiling at him.

“Seungcheol-ssi?”

“I said it’s okay to call me by my name.”

“Jeonghan-ah, come inside.” Juyeong welcomes him inside and Seungcheol steps aside to let him. She gives him a plastic bag which contains the pepper his mother asked for.

“Thank you.”

“Come inside, you can have tea with us.”

Awkwardly bowing, he kindly rejects the offer. “I’m sorry but she needs this now. I’ll come again.” Areum runs to him and clings onto his thigh as she bids him goodbye. Before turning away, he swears to god that he saw Jeonghan peeking at him through the window with a shy smile.

Just that realization is enough to drive him crazy.

_‘Drive him crazy’. For what exactly?_

Night came and they had a delicious dinner together as a family after so long. His mom cooked his favorite meals such as spicy marinated crab, steamed fish along with chicken soup, kimchi and sweet pork. In every mouthful, he could taste his home.

They talked about lot of thing and Seungcheol was glad to share his concerns and problems to his parents. It was heartfelt and his chest had become light after pouring out his worries. His parents’ main worry is his insomnia.

It could lead to many bad things because of lack of sleep. As an example - the reason why Seungcheol is here right now. His mother used to pack him scented candles, lavender pot, dried tea leaves and some other teas which names he neither can pronounce nor spell for him to drink at night but it was avail. Nothing works for him and he promised himself to go to doctor but he has no heart to leave his home.

Surprisingly, he can sleep well once he listens to DJ Han who is slowly becoming his lullaby. All he needs are his phone and an earphone. Lying carelessly on his bed, gazing at the empty ceiling as he is companied by the soft chattering voice of that guy – his sickness has found its solution.

So that night he checks the time: 12:30 in the midnight and he hop on his bed as he impatiently takes out the earphone from the drawer next to his bed and plug it to his phone.

_Just about time._

Laying flat on his back, he realizes that he didn’t close the bedroom window but he has no energy to get off the bed anymore so without minding the cool breeze, he closes his eyes.

_“Once again, we have Han-ssi to accompany our night. How are you Han-ssi?”_

_“I’m good. It has been a week since we last met.”_ He says along with a giggle.

_That sound – that familiar sound of giggle._

_“So listeners, if you have any questions or concerns, you can go to our official website and click the link to leave comments. DJ Han and I will be here to ease your worries. Firstly, let’s kick start our night with a song. Here’s Fresh Roses by Juke Rose.”_

After four minutes listening to the song, Seungcheol complains internally at the never ending commercials. For fuck’s sake, he just wants to listen to the Han guy.

Finally after a whole eight minutes, they’re back on recording and the radio jockey reads one of the comments: _How do I move on after breaking up? He is doing fine and even got himself a new girlfriend._

_“Han-ssi, do you have any words for this?”_

_“I guess you just have to go on with your life. Just because it didn’t work out for both of you, that doesn’t mean you can’t try it out with others. He did too. Life happens, always. It doesn’t stop for anyone until you figure out where did you went wrong. So go on, you’ll meet other person when you’re doing your favorite things, you two will catch good feeling for each other. Forgetting someone who was once meant a life for you isn’t easy but you have to pluck it all together and walk on. Because walking on from thing that no longer makes you happy is self-respect. It takes time and you can take how many times you want but at the same time don’t lose the grip of your life. You, yourself mean the life for your own self.”_

The last word hangs at the edge of Seungcheol’s mind.

The next comment: _How to impress someone?_

 _“Oh, that was an unexpected question.”_ He let out a breathy laugh, and Seungcheol made up his mind that he’ll listen to this for his whole life. He loses nothing.

_“Well, do the things you like? I’m not sure but I think you should be open about how you feel towards the person. Brace up, face them and frankly say you like them? Obviously, it’s risky and the possibility to get rejected is high but it’s your one time bet so you can go for it? I believe that the magic lives in the little things. Like the person’s favorite book genre or the kind of music they like to listen to or any finest detail you notice in them. If you realize those things, make sure you are doing it wholeheartedly in order to know them more not just because to make them fall in love with you because love – a natural feeling, it can happen anywhere and anytime.”_

Sincerity is the key?

His eyelids are slowly getting tired and he yawns for several times while hearing the radio jockeys having fun chattering as they play some songs. By the time he fell asleep, he heard Han saying: _“I’ve been in love, secretly.”_

In the morning, after he had breakfast, he received a call from Seokmin so before answering it, he slides down on the wooden bench placed outside of their house – next to the garden.

“How is it going so far?”

[“I should be the one asking you, hyung.]

He squints his eyes at the blurry image of the sky since the sun is directly hitting his eyes. “Oh,” He teases, “Did you miss me?”

[“Well, had to. This campus sucks even more now that you’re gone.]

“How’s Wonwoo?”

He hears the sarcastic laugh at the other side of line. [“Piling up. He’s done for sure.”]

Knowing what Seokmin means, Seungcheol comments. “At least he’s on the ‘flirt break,’”

Seungcheol grunts when the back of his head hits the wooden armrest rather hardly when he lays his head there, adjusting to the uncomfortable feel beneath him.

[“How about you, hyung? Did you go to the doctor?”]

“I’m… doing well – with family – nice therapy.”

Four blocks across his house, his eyes catch his neighbor, Jeonghan who has a towel around his neck are tying his slightly long hair in an apple hair. As if the sound of nature around him has been muted, he can’t hear anything except gluing his eyes at Jeonghan’s movement.

_He hasn’t showered yet?_

[“…Hyung? Hyung? What happened?”]

Right then, he snaps his attention at Seokmin’s call. “Huh? What were you saying?”

[“I was just saying I envy you a little. You’re at home, eating home cooked meal, seeing your parents - having good time.”]

Jeonghan opens the gate and walks inside the small yard through another small gate. Seungcheol instinctively stands up as he can’t get a clearer view since the yard is covered by a big cherry blossom tree. Standing on his toes, Seungcheol tries his best to peek at him who is about 200 meter away from him.

While Seokmin is ignored on the call, he quickly says, “I’ll call you back.” He ends the call and puts on his shoe before walking out of his house to Jeonghan’s.

He doesn’t know exactly why his feet are dragging him towards him but he doesn’t complain either. When he was thinking hard on what to say about his presence, he realizes he is already having his arms hanging on the fence that confines the yard. _Smiling stupidly._

Jeonghan doesn’t realize about his presence there.

Standing in the middle of the yard, he stretches his arm while closing his eyes as he inhales the fresh morning air.

_Meditating?_

After a few minutes, he approaches the plants which are lined on the grass and crouches down. He plucks one of the leaves from what it seems like mint leave and sniffs at it. Later, his face falls in despondency but still continues to smell the mint.

 _Oh?_ Seungcheol had seen this, when he first saw him at the campus.

Next, he moves to the small pot of daisy flower and brings it up to his nose before smelling it. Yet again, his face contorts and he does that again – pout!

_Oh my, oh my, so cute._

Before realizing where he is, he screams and stumbles backwardly when the sharp edge of the fence penetrates his skin and quickly closes his mouth but Jeonghan catches him.

He runs towards him and watches him rather worriedly over the fence. “What are you doing here?”

Seungcheol doesn’t spare a stare at him as he is busy checking his arm if it is wounded or bleeding. Luckily there aren’t any injuries.

“Cheol?”

At the call of his name, he whips his head at the direction of the voice and stares back blankly – jumbling words in his mind.

“Are you hurt or what?”

Shaking his head in denial, Seungcheol stutters. “No! Ah…no I’m not hurt, I was just…passing by, and…oh! Oh! The tree!” He points at the big cherry blossom tree which he is standing under. “It’s beautiful and ah… did you plant this?”

_Stupid._

To his surprise, Jeonghan is not having any of it but is observing him as if he can see through him so Seungcheol stops rambling.

“Do you want to come in?” Is what Jeonghan says before opening the small gate to allow him in but Seungcheol is still standing on the same spot.

“Cheol?”

_Again._

He nods, breathing in as he cautiously follows behind him. Once he enters in the yard, he can feel the fresh air welcoming him as various scent of herbs poke his curiosity. Jeonghan stands next to the small tangerine tree and watches Seungcheol who is observing the place with a puckered lip. Then, he takes a seat on the metallic swing and taps the space beside him, inviting Seungcheol.

He swallows, hesitant to approach him all of sudden but seeing him drawing a smile across his face, he awkwardly sits next to him.

It feels good.

“Are you mad because I called you Cheol?”

Seungcheol presses his mouth together, trying to recall the sweet voice that had called his name earlier. “No!”

“So can I call you as Cheol?” Jeonghan digs his teeth into the flesh of his mouth, reddening it and eyes slightly wavering.

Seungcheol doesn’t know what to answer. It’s a simple question for god’s sake yet he’s thinking hard when he was the one who initiated to drop the honorifics between them. But straight up calling his name?

“Whatever you’re comfortable with.” Seungcheol watches how his apple hair is bobbing as he nods in agreement and starts to move the swing with his one foot pressed on the ground. The sound of the creaking metal tickles his ear.

Not knowing what should be their conversation, Seungcheol opens his mouth.

“So you’re studying in the same campus as mine?” _Such an obvious question._

Jeonghan turns his head to face him. “Yes. Last year.”

“That’s great to hear.”

_That’s it? I should continue this!_

When he was silently praying to whatever noble being up there for help, Jeonghan stops the swing. “Actually I study herbs too.”

_Now, that’s familiar._

“Huh?” Like an idiot he is, he listens to Jeonghan who starts to move the swing slowly.

“Herbs.” He states again. “See there? I’ve planted some herbs.” He points at the container placed up on vinyl covered grass.

“Wow, interesting.”

Jeonghan lowers his head, heels of his palm are pressing onto the empty space next to his thighs. “I don’t know much about gardening but I took interest in studying herbs.” He states to a blank Seungcheol. “My sister is good at gardening; she was an agriculture student so I told her to plant some herbs.”

Seungcheol just nods as he eyes the various plants displayed under the sluggish sun.

“Do you want to look at it?” Jeonghan excitedly stands up and so does Seungcheol.

Jeonghan takes one of the pots and crouches as he urges Seungcheol to sit on the ground. It is tarragon, his neighbor said.

“Smell it,”

So Seungcheol smells it, face scrunching to get a detailed elaboration of the exuding smell. “Vanilla – it smells like vanilla.”

Jeonghan studies his expression and scoots closer, eyes full of some sort of _hope._ “How does vanilla smell like?”

Seungcheol stops crushing the blade on his hand and gives a long stare to him while his brain is coming up with words. “Sweet or soft and comforting. Basically, it’s sweet.”

Next, he sniffs at the parsley but Jeonghan told him to rub it so that you’ll get an excellent smell. “I really hate the parsley. It’s gross.” Says Seungcheol, wearing a revolted face expression and his brows knit together in the middle.

“But it’s good for your health.”

Seungcheol dusts his hands off and stretches his body when he stands up. His lower limbs have grown numb since he has been crouching.

“Not only are the leaves, but the remedy also in the roots, seeds, and stems.” Seungcheol totally has no idea in this conversation so he keeps on giving a blank face along with nods, thinking it’s polite.

Jeonghan notices it and quickly bows as he let out a gale of laughter. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I sound like a folk.” It is rather adorable, Seungcheol thinks when he covers his face with the towel and peeks through it to apologize.

“We can learn about the herbs together. _You can teach me_.” Like an instinct, Seungcheol says it and a complete silence engulf them, leaving their tongues unable to utter a word.

“Do you want to come in?” Jeonghan stutters, pointing at his house.

“Where is your sister?”

“Oh! They went to work and Kwangju – he’s at the school.”

“I see. Well, it’s okay. I’ll just go back home.” Seungcheol rejects the offer and walks backwardly as he scratches his nape. Jeonghan just stands on the same spot as he watches Seungcheol taking his leave and leads him outside.

Before going to his home, Seungcheol hesitantly asks. “Do you want to… hang out? Or stroll? But! If you have time – it can be tomorrow. I’m just asking because it’s my hometown and I want to drive around the city but it’ll be good if I have a… friend, like a companion.”

“Sure.”

With a beaming heart, Seungcheol let himself fall on the couch when he is back at his house while Kkuma climbs onto him, sniffing at him.

He doesn’t know where he had the courage to ask Jeonghan to hang out with him but it was a knock in his head, urging him to do so and he did. And he still doesn’t know what does this excitement he feels about Jeonghan is called as. He pushes the hesitancy outside his chest and runs downstairs.

It’s just 8:30 in the morning when his mom is shocked to see her son at the dining table so early.

“I’m going out.”

“Where?” His father comes out of nowhere and sits opposite him with a newspaper on his hand.

“Nowhere particularly. I missed Daegu. Jeonghan is coming with me.”

“You already befriend him?” His mom asks to which he nods. “He’s also like my son, poor baby.”

“Why?” Just then he hears a honk and rushes to front to see Jeonghan running out of the car to give a bow and greets his parents. _Such a nice guy._

“Good morning, Jeonghan. Let’s eat breakfast together.” His father invites.

“Thank you but I already ate.”

The bread in his hand is quickly shoved inside his mouth and he scurries over Jeonghan’s side before biding his parents’ goodbye.

First the atmosphere in the car was normal and natural but after a while, Seungcheol gets awkward as he shifts his position in the seat uncomfortably while Jeonghan is nonchalantly driving.

“I should’ve brought my car.” He shyly says, earning a headshake from the younger.

“I know the city well. It’ll be convenient. Don’t mind it.”

Seungcheol tightly grips his seatbelt. “But I was the one asked you out. I’m sorry, that’s so not polite of me.”

“Okay then, I’ll let you drive. Is it okay?” Jeonghan offers, eyes still focused on the road.

Seungcheol enthusiastically nods. “So, where are we going?”

Jeonghan tightens his lips together. “I don’t know, you name it.”

Thankfully, the bubble of awkwardness has disappeared from his chest while he hums as he thinks of a place he wants to go. “First, let’s eat.”

Soon, they arrive at a local market where various snacks and food are sold. Without wasting any time, they saunter together inside the market and it’s pretty crowded.

“You must really like enjoying stall foods.” Jeonghan says.

“When I was in junior high, I always came here with my friends. We saved money to try the new snacks here. My favorite is tonkatsu!” At the memory of his teenage years, Seungcheol happily shares his stories.

For the first couple of minutes, they walk across the market to observe the different foods through the crowd and when they have decided what to eat, they buy it.

They were eating the spicy tteokbokki as they walk when Jeonghan suddenly grabs his wrist and drags him to a small stall next to the fried chicken stall. For a good minute, Seungcheol freezes at the touch but steadies himself upon hearing Jeonghan saying that the tonkatsu here is the best.

“I’ll buy you this!” Seungcheol vehemently rejects but he had the tonkatsu pushed into his mouth to stop him from saying ‘no’.

The next stop is pancake. The lady even gave them an extra piece since they ate it well. _So generous._

“What else do you want?” Asks Seungcheol when they find a spot to sit.

“Nothing, I’m full.” He wipes his mouth and sips the cold tea.

They fall into a comfortable silence as their surroundings are rushing. Jeonghan is scrolling through his phone, still drinking the cold tea while Seungcheol quietly texts Wonwoo.

**_Wonwoo:_ ** _so, the small guy is your neighbor?_

**_You_** : yes

**_Wonwoo_ ** _: what’s his name again?_

**_You_ ** _: Jeonghan_

**_Wonwoo_ ** _: and what are you planning to do?_

**_You_ ** _: idk. im with him, out_

**_Wonwoo:_ ** _the hell? You barely know him for 4 days_

**_You_ ** _: ikr! he drove and we went out to stroll, hang out but now we’re eating_

**_Wonwoo_ ** _: that sounds like a pretty lame date_

At the word ‘date’ Seungcheol _snaps_ from his realization and puts down his phone to slowly yet so casually (he thinks it’s a casual act) he looks up at the man sitting next to him and thinks: _What does this feeling is called?_ They were just a few centimeters apart and just now he notes that the pale yellow sweater which Jeonghan is wearing suits his radiant face. _Random._

But now, looking at his own outfit – mint green long sleeve shirt with a sunflower print on it – he grins internally. _They’re matching outfits!_ As possible as he can, he lowers his face to hide his heat that spread all over his face and again, he grins.

“Can we go?” Jeonghan brings him back to reality, handing him the car key.

Without mentioning where their next destination is, Seungcheol parks the car and smiles upon seeing the other’s smile.

“I love aquarium!” He exclaims.

After searching for _places that lovers go_ Seungcheol decides to waste their time at aquarium as it was listed under an article titled **_10 places that you can spend your time with your loved ones_** (don’t ask him why he searched for that).

“I didn’t know Daegu has aquarium; found out through google.” Seungcheol playfully smiles, locking the car.

“You are really missing out a lot of your own hometown,”

As the gentleman he is, he buys the ticket for both of them after god knows how long it was and enters the aquarium with a tag dangling from their necks.

Inside, the whole surrounding is drowning in an illuminated the palette blue. As if they are deep in the sea, there are many kind of sea creatures displayed inside a thick glass all around them. For information purpose, Jeonghan reads the brochure given as they head to the top floor.

“I used to live at the beachside,” Seungcheol randomly states.

“So you’ve seen a lot of fishes before?”

“Not so; some kind of it.”

Luck is on their side when they walk for 10 minutes and there are special events such as underwater feeding show, mermaid show and the visitors can also feed the otter.

Excited, Jeonghan quickly finds a nice spot to feed the otter and Seungcheol sort of lost himself watching the other guy smiling fondly while feeding the animal.

They had a good time at the aquarium for an hour and Seungcheol feels like he has gotten closer with the younger boy as they spend time together and talk like a friend would do.

Right, _friend_.

But he’s still wondering what does this _feeling_ is called.

Since they still have some time to spare, they find themselves sitting on a bench under a big tree with ice creams on both of their hands.

“Is this your favorite place?”

Jeonghan wipes his palm as he turns to face him properly. “I often come here since a year ago.”

Seungcheol closes his eyes for a second and observes the atmosphere; cozy and calm.

“I grew to love flowers and curious of the scent. They have different smell,” He looks at him with a determination before his voice turns hesitant. “Right?”

Seungcheol notes it now – how Jeonghan has interest in herbs and flowers and they have one in common; smell.

Remembering how his face fell when he couldn’t quite tell the specific smell of the herbs exude when they were at his yard yesterday and how the younger’s face contorted into disappointment while sniffing at the petal when he first saw him at the campus pokes his curiosity. _Why Jeonghan is so wasted in finding out about smells?_

Licking the final taste of his ice cream, he throws the cup into a nearby trash bin and fondly watches over the children flocking to the water fountain as they run in circles, catching each other. _What_ _a wonderful feeling, being a kid – having no worries._ Turning to his left, he notices Jeonghan is also watching the kids with that look in his eyes; which, he can’t quite tell but he wants to know about it – maybe, everything about the younger.

“You know…that, no one cares about anything when they have the capability to do so but when they lost it, it hits you that if just you had appreciated it ever since, you wouldn’t end up like _this_ ,” Out of nowhere, Jeonghan utters those words – throwing a dart in Seungcheol’s gut board. “Like, being useless.”

When Seungcheol was processing any possible word that he can come up with to proceed to conversation, Jeonghan continues.

“Actually, I can’t smell.”

Call him dramatic, but he deadass feel the slow wind slaps his face harshly as the words fell from his mouth. Again, he’s speechless – completely unable to say anything.

But then, he does _that_ again, deftly curling his lip before he burst out in an enchanting laughter. “Say something, will you? It’s nothing serious,”

“I- I’m sorry,” He gasps, averting his gaze to everywhere he can.

Jeonghan calms, “It’s called anosmia.”

“The name of the illness?”

Jeonghan briefly nods, still having that _damn smile_ across his face, making Seungcheol to feel guilty for no reason. “There are two types – one is permanent and one is temporary. Well, in my case, it’s permanent.”

Suddenly, Seungcheol sits politely. The hands that were perched on the bench find it way on his lap and his back is straightened.

“How… I’m sorry- but why did it happen?” He arranges his word carefully with a little stutters.

“I get into an accident last year. The doctor said I had a brain injury and it affected my sense of smelling.”

_‘How bad was the accident that he lost ability to smell because of brain injury?’_

“Isn’t there any surgery to cure it? I mean, there must be a way! Medical studies are huge and wide but how could they not cure it? It doesn’t make sense!”

Seeing a rambling Seungcheol, Jeonghan lit his eyes with unspoken words, invigorating the older. “It isn’t a bad thing – at least for _me_.” He shakes his head, proving his point as an agreement. “Luckily I survived; I’m taking the positive perspective of the incident. Even the doctor said I had luck to be alive from the horrific accident.”

_What the hell?_

“Remember when I said I saw you at the campus?”

Seungcheol whips his head at the memory of him meeting the boy for the first time. “Yes?” Voice is little expectant.

“I saw you a lot of time,” The afternoon breeze runs through his hair, letting a strand of hair to fall right on the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know if you still remember but the day you spilled your coffee on the corridor and sloppily apologized to the cleaner lady, the sight was hilarious.”

His eyes dilate and his ears redden at the realization of the embarrassing moment he ever encountered. _‘He saw me that day?’_

“That was the first time I saw you.”

“Oh my god, that’s embarrassing!” He covers his eyes as his cheeks rise up in a wide smile.

Jeonghan splutters his laugh, embarrassing him further more. “Poor lady, she glared at you.”

“I know! God, she never greeted me after that.” They settle in a harmonious laugh on that afternoon, tickling the heart of him when he can’t figure out the sudden rise of an unknown feeling in his chest.

When they arrive home, Jeonghan calls his name with a thud.

“I had a good day.”

Seungcheol shakes his head that has dropped on the ground. “ _Thanks to you_ , I had a good day.”

Through the rolled down car’s window, he can see him agreeing on that. “So, are we friends now?”

Seungcheol bends forward, leaning into the window. “I thought we already are?” A ghost of smirk plays across his face.

Before parting ways, they exchanged phone numbers through what he thought the most subtle way.

Later that night - the usual night where he can’t close his eyes – he has earphone tucked inside his ear to listen to the favorite voice of someone at 1 am. The more he thinks, the more it proves that DJ Han’s voice and Jeonghan’s voice sounds the same except Han’s voice a little groggy and harsh. Maybe it’s because of the radio thing? But the laughter has the same motion.

_Jeonghan and Han? Could they be the same person? Right! Both are sociology major and…what there are more? Herbs! Oh god! So they are the same person._

Turning off the FM app, he scrolls through the contact list to find the certain name: _Jeonghan_. He quickly types a message to him at 1:15 am, expecting the reply will arrive the next morning but when he hears a beep from his phone at 1:17 am, he sits straight on the bed, smiling daftly.

**_You_ ** _: sorry for disturbing you at this hour_

**_You_ ** _: but do you do any radio program?_

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: yes! how did you know?_

**_You_ ** _: under the name DJ Han?_

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: yes_

**_You_ ** _: thank you, that helps me to sleep_

**_You_ ** _: you helped me to sleep_

Returning to his hometown felt like a discovery; not only the city but the people. Just like that, his day ended, leaving him in remaining 10 days to miss the pleasure of freedom he felt.

_Another 10 days to figure out the feeling._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because i looooooooooove kkuma so character unlocked in chapter 2: kkuma!!!
> 
> [cc](https://t.co/QI2P5XovbG) & [twitter](https://t.co/fL7whEd6Oj)


	3. Chapter 3

**_J_ust ft Yoon Dandan – Summer Flowers_ **

“It’s good to have you here. My back hurts from gardening.”

“It’s just tangerine, we can grow it in pots.”

His father lets out a breathy laugh, “Convenient, I see.”

The old man talks about how his wife always finds anything to plant in the yard and for the sake of that, he had to enlarge the yard. Despite the grumbles, he admits that it is easier to grow plants on own rather than buying it at market’s price.

His mother has gone to the boutique to check few orders that need to be done in two days, leaving the father and the son in the house.

After checking the drainage of the pot, Seungcheol carries the two pots and place it under sunny spot. Once he cleaned the place, he enters the kitchen to see his father is making some onigiri as evening snacks. Taking a seat after gulping down a glass of cold water, his father serves him a plate of it and turns on the stove to fry eggs.

“When will mom come back?”

“Maybe later at dusk. She said she is going out with her friends her too.”

Nodding, he took a novel from the shelf at the between of dining room and living room and lazily slides down on the wooden bench at the garden. With the slacking evening sun shining on him, he let his eyes close for a while before Kkuma runs towards him, hops onto him and a gale of joyful laughter bursts out.

She smiles when he runs his palm on her back; the soft fur tickles his bare hand. Then, she peacefully rests her whole body on his tummy, enjoying the tender pat.

With one hand resting on Kkuma and another hand holding the novel as he read, he enjoys the quite evening. He is reading one of his favorite books; _One Day -_ heartwarming story of Emma and Dexter in a lingering friendship which turns them into lovers.

It might be his nth time reading it but a good book is a good book no matter how many times you read it. He glances over Kkuma who is now sleeping on his stomach where a steady rise of his breath becomes her lullaby and he smiles at the sight of it.

Slowly patting her, he reads out: _‘live each day as your last’ that was the conventional advice, but who had the energy for that? What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn’t practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and be courageous and bold and to make a difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you. Go out there with your passion and your electric typewriter and work hard at something. Change lives through art maybe. Cherish your friends, stay true to your principles, live passionately and fully and well. Experience new things. Love and be loved, if you ever get the chance._

 _If you ever get the chance_ , he commits the sentence into his memory. He will surely try that out.

Like a natural instinct, he lifts his head slightly to look over at the house opposite his, to see if there is a sign of people, of anyone… of _certain anyone_. That’s when he puts Kkuma carefully on her pillow without waking her up to hear a knock on the door.

Juyeong was fidgeting at his doorstep and he approaches her when she calls him.

“Seungcheol, I’m so sorry to ask you but can you pick Areum from school? I called Jeonghan for help, but he didn’t pick up and I’ve work stuffs to attend, so if you don’t mind, can you?”

“Oh sure! Send me the location of her school.”

Letting out a relieved smile, she taps on her phone before leaving and Seungcheol takes out his phone to text his father to tell him he’s going out since his father has went out to a nearby park. He was about to set off when his eyes catch a sight of Jeonghan hurriedly locking the door of his house.

Pressing his mouth into a thin line, he drives towards him. “Hey, why are you rushing?”

“Oh my god,” he has his hands on his chest as an impulse act of startled when Seungcheol calls him. “Picking up Kwangju, I dozed off.”

“Does Kwangju go to the same school as Areum?” He nods, opening his car door. “I’m on my way there too, to fetch Areum so why don’t you just come with me?”

Puffing a heavy breath, he quickly joins him in the car and leans ever so comfortably against the seat. Seungcheol laughs, silently before setting off to pick the kids. _Did they get close?_

Once he gets off the car, he sees Kwangju and Areum running towards him hand in hand.

“Seungcheol oppa and Jeonghan oppa came?”

“Your mom is busy so she asked me to get you.” Says Seungcheol, earning a sharp gaze from Kwangju who is now has his hands in Jeonghan’s.

“Who’s this?” Areum introduces Seungcheol to Kwangju and the little boy politely bows to him before the kids run towards the car.

Once climbed inside the car, Jeonghan quickly takes his phone to call Juyeong to inform her.

“You’re good with kids,” Jeonghan comments.

Seungcheol fastens the seatbelt, mouth releasing a small mirth. “Thanks to Kkuma.”

“Kkuma?”

“You don’t know her? She’s my sweetheart. Have you never seen her?”

Jeonghan’s face muscles tense as he turns to face the road. “No. I didn’t know you are in a relationship.”

“Relationship-“ Seungcheol realizes the point of Jeonghan’s sentence and he couldn’t help but to laugh. “How are you convinced that Kkuma is a person’s name?”

“Pronouns. Sweetheart.”

“Yeah and so does my pup.”

His brows meet in the middle as the realization dawns into him. “Oh my god! So you have a puppy! That’s adorable.”

Focusing on the road, Seungcheol nods. “She’s white and her fur is the softest thing my palm has ever lain on.”

“Can I see her?”

So once they arrived home, Jeonghan walks into his house for the first time and timidly sits on the couch while Seungcheol has disappeared into the kitchen to make a drink for him. Kwangju is at Areum’s house as they said they have homework to finish.

From a distance, he hears a faint jingle and then he sees it, Kkuma running down the stairs.

Jeonghan flashes with a smile when she runs across the living hall and hesitantly steps towards him but before he could pat her, she runs away, bumping into Seungcheol’s feet that just come from the kitchen with a tray on his hand.

“Baby,” Seungcheol cooes at her after handing Jeonghan the glass of raspberry juice. Sitting next to him, he scoops her up, lips puckering.

Jeonghan quietly watches at how Seungcheol treats Kkuma, so incredibly sweet.

“She’s like my daughter.”

Jeonghan puts the glass on the coffee table. “So, you’re in your dad phase?”

He laughs at that before Kkuma climbs on his chest, licking on him.

“Do you want to touch her?”

Jeonghan pushes his lower lip forward, “She doesn’t like me.”

Caressing her, Seungcheol puts on a doubtful face. “Eyy, come on. She likes you, just like me.”

Not even realizing what he just said, he proceeds to reach his hand to him. “Give me your hand.” Jeonghan reaches too and he gladly takes it in him, guiding his warm palm on Kkuma’s back as he maintains the pat gently. Kkuma doesn’t even flinch but darts out her tongue and blinks at the soft touch. Another smile hangs on Jeonghan’s face as he strokes her white fur and so does Seungcheol while watching the younger carefully touches her with pure affection in his eyes.

“She’s so soft,” escapes from Jeonghan whose eyes not leaving the white creature curled up on Seungcheol’s lap.

Seungcheol has been so lost peeking at Jeonghan that he doesn’t realize that he is holding his hands. His grips on him tightens when Kkuma stretches her body, a red tint of embarrassment alarms his both ears.

“Sorry,”

Jeonghan brushes off the apology and gulps down the whole juice before glancing over at the time on his wristwatch. “I should go.”

Abruptly, Seungcheol stands up, holding Kkuma in his embrace. When he walks him to the front door, his breath is knocked in his throat tightly as Jeonghan leans in to smooch Kkuma, his forehead brushing against his chest. “Tell her I love her. Goodbye.”

Coming to his senses, Seungcheol waves at him before slumping on his bed, curious if butterflies do exist in his stomach. 

The next day, Seungcheol enjoys the cozy evening with his parents by drinking tea at the garden as they sit in a circle around a yellow wooden table.

“Did you finish the chamomile tea I gave you?”

“Mom, you gave me those months ago. Of course I finished it.”

“How do you feel after drinking it?”

Seungcheol contemplates to answer it so he fakes a cough. “Kind of.”

Before she could precede her interrogation, his father changes the topic. “Did you get yourself a girl or not?”

The question alone slaps him internally now that he recalls his two failed relationship which didn’t even stand for 2 years. Pupil shaking, he sips on the tea quietly.

“You’re at a perfect marriage age.”

Another slap. _Marriage?_ That topic has never crossed his mind even once, even when he was dating Jieun. His tongue grows bland when the cold tea slides down his throat as he straightens his back, sitting politely while his brain is trying to normalize the word, _‘marriage’_

“Seungcheol?”

“Uhm,” He whips his head at them, coming up with the situation. “I don’t have any of that idea.” From outside, he can hear laughter of Kwangju and Areum.

His mother stares at him, long enough. “What do you mean?”

“I never thought of that – marriage, having a family.”

His father who seems unfazed, comments, “Do whatever you want. As long as you’re happy.”

Like a savior, Kkuma runs to him as usual while his mother has disappeared into the kitchen. A blade of guiltiness cuts through his conscience so he enters the kitchen, slowly approaching his mother who has her back facing him.

“Mom, are you mad?” Through a stuttering sentence, he asks.

However, she looks completely unbothered as she turns to him. “Why should I?”

“About my marriage topic,”

“It’s your life, Seungcheol. Do what you think is right for you. I will not push you. Asking you about your marriage is a natural concern for me, as your mom since you’re already old enough. But you’re not ready, more like you never thought about it so of course it’s totally unfamiliar for you.” She strokes his cheek as he leans into it. “But if you find someone that you like, tell it to me. No matter whom it is.”

At those words, his mind flips to a vague realization of who is him actually but he quickly disposes it with a reassuring smile.

As he walks across the kitchen, he finds a barbecue grill stand which is coated with dusts under the stairs so he calls for his dad loudly. “Dad!”

“What?”

“We have a grill stand, let’s do a barbecue party tonight!”

The old man sighs, “We don’t have the ingredients.”

“I’ll buy it. Let’s invite Juyeong, Areum and Jeonghan’s family too.”

“As you wish. Ask for your mother what does she needs.”

Excitedly, he types all of the ingredients that his mom has said in the notepad before entering his car. But he sees Kwangju and Areum playing badminton in front of his house so he approaches them as he notices that Jeonghan is also heading the same direction.

“Where are you going?”

“Buying barbecue stuffs. My mom invites you too, bring Kwangju and Areum and also your sister.”

Areum giddily pulls the hem of his shirt. “Are we eating a lot of chickens today?”

“I can come too?” Seungcheol pats his head and nods along with a smile.

“Do you want to come with me? I can buy you chocolates.” Seungceol asks them to the supermarket since it’s boring to go alone. They enthusiastically nod as they run their houses to ask for their parents consent, leaving Jeonghan and him alone.

“Can I get one of those chocolates?”

“Anything you wish for,” Seungcheol opens the car door, letting Jeonghan in. Soon, Kwangju and Areum hops into the car and they set off the supermarket.

Arriving, Seungcheol takes out his phone to take a look at the notepad as his another hand holds Areum’s while Jeonghan is holding Kwangju. Firstly, he takes 5 packets of meats while Jeonghan searches for vegetables such as cabbages, salads, tomatoes, capsicums, eggplants and etc. The kids don’t make a fuss as they quietly follow Jeonghan and Seungcheol and even help them to pick other items. After grabbing sausages and extra charcoal, they enter the candy row and just then the kids seem excited as they run to pick their favorite sweets.

“You’re really good with kids.”

“That’s your second time saying it to me.” Seungcheol replies.

“Can’t help myself,”

“Kkuma thought me how to interact with kids.”

Jeonghan’s face turns unbelievable, “You can’t be serious.”

“Hey, I know how precious kids are.”

“Kkuma?”

Seungcheol presses his lips into thin line, “She’s irreplaceable – my only one sweetheart.”

“How lucky,” Jeonghan settles in a chuckle while Areum runs to Seungcheol with one big lollipop while Kwangju gives his candy to Jeonghan before they head to the counter to pay.

Seungcheol checks the time as they arrive home. For more polite invitation, Seungcheol walks Areum to her house to see Juyeong is watering the plants.

“We’re having barbecue party later at evening so I wanted to invite you and Areum as well.”

“Oh, sure. I have extra radish kimchi too.” Before leaving, Seungcheol gives Areum another packet of chocolate which she had been looking at the supermarket earlier.

Arriving at Jeonghan’s home, he presses the bell and Kwangju answers him while another guy walks behind him. Intimidated, he bows at him. “I’m Jeonghan’s friend, living at the opposite block.”

“Oh, you’re Seungcheol. Gitae’s son!”

“I am.” He shakes his hand.

“I am Seo Hyunjae, Jeonghan’s brother in law.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Do you want to meet Jeonghan?”

“No. Actually I want to invite you and your family to my house for barbecue party later at evening. It’s just small one, will be nice if everyone gathers.”

“Jeonghan is taking a nap. I will tell him once he wakes up. We’ll come.”

Seungcheol was having shower when the night drops because he has been busy and stinky since evening. While his father is igniting fire in the grill, his mother is serving plate on the metallic table which they set in the garden. Soon, Juyeong and Areum arrive.

“I take it from here,” Seungcheol wears the gloves and adds charcoal into the grill stand.

As he cuts the meat in smaller pieces for Areum, she stands beside him, looking further in the neighborhood street. “Why Juju isn’t coming yet?” She says with a pout while her small hand tucks the hem of his flannel.

Dragging her away from the hot grill, he feeds her a chunk of meat. “They’ll come. Don’t come here, it’s dangerous.” He gives her the plate of meat.

Few minutes after, Jeonghan and his family come. Kwangju runs to Areum once he saw her while Hyunjae taps him on the shoulder.

“Hyunjae! It’s so rare to see you nowadays.” His father greets him.

“I had seminar in Incheon a week ago.”

A woman, maybe a few years older than him who he suspects as Jeonghan’s sister curtly bows at him before joining Juyeong. Seungcheol greets them as he serves the grilled meats.

“Can I help you?”

Seungcheol smiles at the voice as his hands are busy turning over the pork meats. “It’s okay. You’re my guest. I can do it.” With that, Jeonghan dismisses.

The night is rather chilly, giving air to his heart when he turns back to see everyone is having a great time as they enjoy each other’s company. His mother is chattering with Juyeong and the other lady. The kids are running around the table, chasing each other as they play with Kkuma while his father and Hyunjae seem to have a serious talk.

“Cheol,” When he turns, a finger pokes his cheek before the owner of the finger bursts into laugh. “Oh my god, your chubby cheek.” Seungcheol adheres to the ground, almost expressionless as he watches Jeonghan bending with his palms on his knees, still laughing. That catches him off the guard, heart skips a few beat. He almost burnt the sausage if he didn’t accidentally touch the hot steel.

“Ouch,”

“Be careful. Let me do it.” Jeonghan quickly snatches the tongs from him as he whisks him out of the way. He wears the glove and rolls up his sleeve before starting to turn over the meats.

Seungcheol stays beside him, quietly watching over him. He thought it is a perfect opportunity to at least figure out what is _this feeling_ called when he watches how Jeonghan’s face scrunches after the smoke hits against his face and when he does a wrapping for him. A part of him itches for the younger to feed him, maybe it could be a hope for the future. He’s better than him at grilling meats, knows when to turn the meat and to cut it for it to cook more. Jeonghan hands him a plate filled with perilla leaves and a few meats as he tells him to eat it first since he hasn’t tasted anything yet but he refuses to leave him alone so he just wraps the meat in the leaves before shoving it whole into his mouth.

Few minutes later, when the meat is enough for everyone to eat, the duo finally get off the grilling job and sits on the table. Since Seungcheol has been by the heat for so long, he takes off his flannel and drapes it over the chair.

“Jeonghan, are you eating?”

“Yes, nuna!”

Seungcheol sips on the soda, “It’s my first time seeing your sister.”

“She’s busy. She works at a law firm, you can guess the headaches.”

“I see. In Daegu or…?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m staying here, to be with Kwangju. I can help him with his homeworks while I’m still on break. He shouldn’t grow alone.”

“What about Hyunjae hyung?”

Jeonghan takes a while before answering, “Well, he, unpredictable. He’s always out of town – presenting here and there. I don’t quite understand since he’s a software engineer.”

After that, they settle in a comfortable silence, having the cold can against their lips as the breeze changes its temperature for Seungcheol to cling inside his flannel back and for Jeonghan to embrace himself with his arms tightly while the few stars blinking on them, unfazed. It’s 11 pm when everyone gradually leaves, thanking Seungcheol and his family for inviting to share the night. Seeing Juyeong waking Areum up who has been dozing off in her arms, Seungcheol offers to carry her without disturbing her sleep to her house after Kwangju hugs him as a sign of gratitude.

Seungcheol lets his mom to go to bed first while he and his father cleans up the place together. It’s not a joke, Seungcheol thinks after realizing how much mess he has to clean. Silently working together, they finally have it all done when the clock ticks 12:30 midnight. He thought he could tire himself to have a nice sleep but he’s having his head gazing up at the vacant sky while playing some old ballad songs on his phone.

“Not sleeping?” Seungcheol jumps from the hammock chair when the voice greets him out of shock to see Jeonghan approaching him with a smile and his both hands are behind his back.

“I’m sorry for surprising you.” His face instantly changes into apologetic as he trips on the tangled hose carelessly but quickly finds balance before Seungcheol could reach his hand to him. “Did I scare you?” He asks as he timidly sits on the grass, making Seungcheol to change his position on the grass as well.

“At 1 am? Of course!” His voice is masking sarcasm, throwing a gaze on the other guy. “What’re you doing? Trying to steal the bacons?”

“My god, no.” He throws his head on the dry grass, embarrassed. “I was about to sleep but I saw you from my window. I’m giving you a company right now.”

“Well, thanks but it’s late.”

“Shh,” Jeonghan places his index finger on his mouth, leaning closer when Seungcheol turns at him and the older feels something inside him abnormal when his hazel orbs are close to him. “I want to give you this.” He takes out something like a thin chocolate bar from the pocket of his hoodie and quickly distances himself from him.

Seungcheol takes a closer look at it. “IPod?” Jeonghan nods.

“I made a few playlist,” He plucks the grass blade and blows it away. “You can add your favorite songs too,” then, his eyes briefly meet Seungcheol’s who is carefully listening to him. “For you.”

“Huh?” Seungcheol looks clueless as ever and Jeonghan has to fake a cough to ease the weird air between them.

“This,” he points at the gadget. “Is for you.”

Seungcheol clicks on the button to find a folder named _You’re My Spring_ and inside it, there are a lot of songs, most of it is ballad and indie songs which are his favorite. Overwhelmed, he stutters. “B-but, for what? I mean, of c-course I appreciate this,”

Jeonghan presses his mouth, stretching his legs. “Think it as your sleep remedy?”

Unable to say anything, Seungcheol once again looks at him, slowly feeling himself fading along with the creepy wind when Jeonghan leans back on his both palm pressed onto the grass and shooting him an unraveled meaningful gaze.

“I can take this?”

“Of course!” Jeonghan says. “If you want to share your songs with me, add it in the playlist.”

“Ok, so anyway, how’s your sleeping schedule?”

Seungcheol sighs, “Completely random and unpredictable. I don’t even know when I fall asleep.”

“That worse?” Seungcheol heaves before plopping on the grass, back itching but he manages it.

“Maybe. It’s just me, my earphone and your voice at the night when I can’t sleep.”

“Since when have you been listening to my program?”

The crook of his eyes crinkles, as he thinks. “Hmm… weeks ago? I’m so grateful.”

Jeonghan has his view fixed in the front, not minding him who is laying flat on his back. “How did it help you? I was shocked when you texted me the other day saying you listen to it.”

“Usually I would listen to songs but your voice…is something else. It’s so calm and soothing like a lullaby!” Seungcheol says, watching his back as he puts his hand under his head.

“So talking to me puts you to sleep?”

“I mean, listening to you, does.” He quietly says, almost like a whisper as if it is a secret between them. Just then, Jeonghan joins him on the grass, their shoulders silently brushes against each other in the dark.

“Then, I’m grateful to it too - to know that I’m doing a good deed unknowingly even after having no luck to someone.”

“Why do you consider yourself as unlucky?”

“I don’t know. I’m weird. I want to remember people by their scent. It’s like a natural way to remember a certain someone. Smell of baby, smell of dews on the grass, hair smell,” Jeonghan is lost in his words. “Smell of the person you like.”

Seungcheol throws his head to the side, seeing Jeonghan catching his gaze for a short moment when he utters the last sentence. It feels surreal – the passing time.

He doesn’t know how to console him when he’s just staring up at the horizon, looking for some kind of miracle as he holds his gaze blankly at the empty surroundings and swear to god, Seungcheol’s chest tickles at the sight of the younger’s lip twitching as a warmth sweeps past him. _So oddly good and sweet._

“Instead of smell, try looking for a certain thing to relate a person to it.” Seungcheol suggests, not sure why. “Like, wind. You can feel the wind against your cheek, just like now. It’s light. Whoever makes whatever inside you weighs a little light, think of that person as wind.” He wouldn’t lie when a small part of him wishes to be that kind person for him. He’s being honest to himself but what about towards Jeonghan? He doesn’t want him for granted. But what is it? What does make him so magically calm when he listens to him or just by exchanging smile with him? “Life isn’t all about being practical. Just explore it whatever way you want.”

Jeonghan seems to be fazed when his stare lingers on him longer. Seungcheol sits up, followed by the other. Silence for a few seconds before Jeonghan speaks, “Until when are you going to stay here?”

“Until next Sunday.”

He stands up, brushing his pants. “Be sure to meet me at the campus too.” is what Jeonghan says before walking back to his house and once Seungcheol enters his room, he doesn’t know when he dozes off.

His mother’s words visits him in his dream _, “But if you find someone that you like, tell it to me. No matter whom it is.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the short update
> 
> VOTE FOR SEVENTEEN IN IDOLCHAMP AND MUBEAT AND FOR SEUNGCHEOL IN FANPLUS AND ALSO DOKYEOM IN IDOLCHAMP. STREAM MY MY!
> 
> :) hv a great day


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmaoo im sorry for the late update but here you go!

**_Astronomy – The Likes of Us_ **

Actually, Seungcheol can’t put into words of what is he feeling these days especially now that he is back with his parents and now meeting someone new who stirs up and eases his heart at the same time. _Such a foreign feeling_. All he knows is that everything he experiences now is somehow overwhelming.

The weather at 4 pm is rather chilly when Seungcheol walks Kkuma around the neighborhood while listening to the playlist Jeonghan gave him that night. Walking at the familiar road where once he spent his childhood feels unfamiliar.

His life is getting better, he thinks. It has been a week since he is staying here and another week remains for him before he gets back to hustle of adult life. His groupchat with his students is flooding with lot of messages of them saying that they miss him and they can’t wait for his return. Just when he opens the messages that he realizes that he hasn’t stepped into the campus building for so long. Even the word, ‘miss’ sounds new to him that he doesn’t realize the heaviness of his life is put aside and now he is enjoying the breeze of freedom while finding out what a certain feeling is called. _Maybe he is close to it but still hesitating._

Adjusting his earphone, he tightens his grip on the leash as Kkuma brushes against his ankle. He hums to the song – City Boy by Calpurnia. He slowly walks until he reaches the local bus stop at the corner street where people get off to go home. Without any destination in his mind, he sits on the vacant seat at the station as he places Kkuma on his lap, quietly watching the busy street on Monday evening. Exchanging smile with strangers and telling them ‘good job’ with a raise of thumb. He never knew he could interact with random people like this.

After all, life is an experience.

From afar, a group of high school girls approach him while signaling at Kkuma and sits next to him.

“Hi,” they greet him.

“Is this your puppy?” A girl with short bangs asks him.

Seungcheol nods, “Do you want to hold her?” They enthusiastically agrees as one of the girl reaches her hand to Kkuma but Kkuma refuses by swiftly turning its face to the other side.

“Ah, I’m sorry. She’s not good with strangers.” Seungcheol apologizes.

“It’s okay, my puppy is also like that. He only sticks to me.” Another girl who has a mole on her cheek says.

“They’re used to it.”

“Oppa, are you new here? I’ve never seen you here before.”

“No, I’m on break so I’m at my parents’ house at the back of 5th street. This is my hometown.” Seungcheol explains.

“Oh? Are you Uncle Gitae’s son?” Seungcheol creases his brow at the fascination of people recognizing him. Well, it’s predictable since his father has a good influence in the town. Admitting it, Seungcheol nods.

“I really wanted to see you since everyone has been saying how good looking you are. Even the neighboring village also knows about you.” Says the girl who has short hair.

“Wow.” Seungcheol exhales. “I’m quite famous, huh?” Then, he spares his free time chattering with the girls about random things such as how the rumor saying the most handsome man has returned to his hometown spreads to the whole town and locals acknowledging him. He feels like a celebrity at his own homeland. When the sun disappears into the sea, he returns home.

The next day, Seungcheol spent his early morning by jogging with his dad at the park where the folks gather. While his father is having conversation with his friends, Seungcheol moves aside as he settles in the wooden hut, hiding from the sunlight as it blinds his eyes.

He throws his head backwards, exhaling. “Spring gonna end soon,” he says with a hint of regret that summer will arrive and his headache will start. Not a minute after, his phone rings.

“Now you remember me?” says Seuncgheol once he picks the call.

[“Come on, you know how busy am I,”]

“Whatever you say, Wonwoo. What’s up?”

[“I called you because I missed you, of course.”]

Seungcheol scratches his ear out of cringe. “Why are you getting cheesier?”

[“Seokmin didn’t tell you?”]

He brings his brows together in the middle of his forehead. “What?”

[“I’m in a relationship now.”] He can sense a smug sitting on Wonwoo’s expression.

“All it took for you to be a decent human being is me being away from you?”

[“Cut it. How are you?”]

Nonchalantly, he lies on the floor, heaving. “I’m good. Will be back there in a few days.”

[“Good to know that. Your sleeping trouble is such a pain in the ass.”]

“In my ass,” he clarifies it.

Since Wonwoo said he’s in his lunch break and has no class for the time being, they continue their conversation with stupid jokes and discuss each other’s concerns. Time like this, Seungcheol realizes that he is a year older than him and he always come to him to seek for advice since most of the time, he feels like he’s the one lost in gripping his own life and sometimes they treat him like a younger one.

Wonwoo is his great friend of him since university. They befriend each other at second year of college after bumping into each other at the cafeteria where Seungcheol dropped his nuggets when he was hurrying to get out of the queue. And now, they’re working under same building. Relationship tightens. Wonwoo is a professor assistant.

“My mom has been asking about you,”

[“Ah, mom! I miss her sweet and sour pork. Tell her that.”]

“You bastard! You miss my mom only for that? Anyway my mom gonna be happy if she knows you finally found yourself a girlfriend.” Seungcheol beams.

[“Okay! Gotta go now!”]

“Goodbye.”

Soon, his father comes and they head back home by walking when his father suddenly asks him something he’d never expect.

“Do you have someone you like?”

His pace slows as the question rings his ear as he keeps his head down before looking up at his father without having any realization. “You know I would have told you if I like someone.”

“So the answer is no?” Gitae throws the empty plastic bottle into the bin after gulping it down.

“Why are you suddenly asking this?”

They continue walking. “Thought about it.”

Arriving at home, he spots his mother trimming the plants at the garden while Kkuma resting on the swing. Before entering the house, Gitae taps his shoulder, “I saw you that night with Jeonghan. I love seeing that back of you.” Seungcheol wipes the sweat rolling down on his temple and stands at the same spot watching his father drawing a smile at his mother as he rubs her back before holding her hand.

Love is like that – gentle yet assuring and _intimating_. A form of human touch relaxes the whole body and soul as their heart spills the words to communicate. Seungcheol always thought of it when he sees his parents – how _beautiful_ is love actually. Maybe he wants to experience that too, to not care about anything and to just fall in love. As simple as that.

Later that evening after taking a nap, he helps his mother at the kitchen. Since he’s good at frying, he makes potato pancake and receives compliment from his mother while she makes hotteok. He thinks of doing hotteok after returning back to city, for breakfast. He can stop relying on YouTube videos which he ends up burning most of the meals. His father has gone for the folks gathering once again leaving them two in the house. 

“Wonwoo called me earlier.”

His mom raises her head after giving Kkuma her favorite nuggets. “Ah, what did he say?”

Seungcheol bites back his grin, “He has a girlfriend now.” As expected, her eyes widen as she stands up, dusting her top and mouth opening as she smiles.

“That brat! Good for him. Tell him to call me also.”

While Kkuma runs to him, Seungceol spots a fall on her face, along with genuine delight. Seungcheol is not dumb, he can read between the lines, or at least can actually detect the reason and whatever he might be right about it, he doesn’t want to open his mouth – doesn’t want to ask her and reason her with uncertainty with a sprinkle of hesitancy. Caressing Kkuma, he stays silent, focusing on Kkuma until her mother leaves for the backyard.

Just then, Gitae’s word runs in his mind and he fights the truth of his self in it. He doesn’t want to think about it – _whatever it might be_.

Days pass, so close for him to pack his stuffs to return back to Seoul and he will miss his mother’s home cook, his father’s silly jokes, Kkuma… _oh god!_ He can’t think about leaving Kkuma. He’s so attached to her more than he ever was since the suspension week tugs the chord in his heart and it’s impossible for him now to leave her.

Or maybe he’s just dramatic.

But you can’t deny the fondness he has towards her is growing day by days. What is he supposed to do now? He’s entertaining himself alone in the house, laying flat on his bed, not enjoying the summer heat trespassing into his room through the open window.

_Summer, shit._

The mattress he’s laying on getting hotter and the t-shirt is starting to stick against his skin and for god’s sake he just want to scream his annoyance out. Since the morning he woke up, he’s not quite sure of what is bothering him which put his mood totally off and now the weather.

His mother is at the boutique and his father – that man, can’t be predicted as where he could be now. She made bean sprout soup with radish kimchi along with rice for breakfast but he, itched to add another dish by trying it out on his own so he scanned the refrigerator for the ingredients he needed and thankfully, there were.

Spotting lamb meat, he decided to grill it which he relied on his skill that he is so confident with and ended up burning one side of the meat. Seriously, what can you expect? Failing miserably, he ate the breakfast alone with a pout on his face.

Now, he’s going through the bookshelf, finding nothing to read as a fresh start since he had read all of the books and plops down on the old couch with nothing to do. The time is 1 pm and it hits him – Areum and Kwangju must’ve been coming home from school. Not thinking much, he fishes out his phone, to call Juyeong.

“Afternoon, noona, can I fetch Areum? Ah? I didn’t know…I see.” A pause. “Sorry for bothering you.” Sighing after being informed that Areum and Kwangju at 4 days summer camp, he throws his phone on the couch.

He changes anyway, finding his car key on the coffee table and sets off to wherever it takes him, in the middle of dazzling hotness.

20 minutes later, he walks into his mother’s boutique, earning a surprised look from her who is talking to a lady who looks like in her mid 40, maybe her customer. Lifting his hands on the air, signaling her that he’ll wait on the couch beside the entrance. But their conversation gets longer and Seungcheol can only yawn as he makes sure his eyes are open. _Damn_. He should’ve stayed at home, took a nap, play with Kkuma or knock onto his neighbor’s door.

Right.

Neighbor.

Where’s Jeonghan?

Now that he realizes it that it has been days since he last saw Jeonghan. The last time was…that barbecue night? Jeonghan gave him an iPod which contains a playlist for him and they share the cold, 1 am breeze at his garden, talking nothing yet it felt so wonderful.

_“I saw you that night with Jeonghan. I love seeing that back of you.”_

What is he thinking?

Tapping his knees, he put the lingering thought at the back of his mind, now focusing his eyes on his mother who is enjoying her conversation with the lady. She’s smiling at every end of her sentences, adding a grace to her uttered words. He sighs at the ironic fact going around his brain, _‘only if I can stay here a little longer,’_ He wants to witness her smile more, to wake to her breakfast, listen to her nag which will end up with a hug and a contented smile.

Ah, crinkles. He notices now that her face draws crinkles. _Getting old_. Was it has always been there? Is he just noticing it now? Earlier when his father held her hand, their intertwined hands contained so much of them it cracks his heart.

The lady stands up, hugging her and gently brushes their cheeks together before walking out of the boutique and Seungcheol bows at her.

“What are you doing here?” His mom asks, clearing the glass table.

Seungcheol quietly stands next to her, “Bored at home.” Giving him a head shake, she proceeds to take out a hard covered book and writes something on it.

“You can help me here if you’re bored.”

He smiles widely at it, “Sure! What should I do?” She walks to the counter and takes an envelope from the drawer and goes to the back where there is a large room, ignoring him. Minutes later, she comes out, hands full of dresses. He runs to her and carries the dresses while she sits on the stool.

“Here,” she hands him the envelope. “There are addresses written in the envelope with labels which are attached on the dresses.” He arches a brow, knowing what he has to do. “Send the dresses to the addresses labeled.” He drops his arms, sighing and shoots a stare to his mother.

“It’s hot,” he sulks as he exits the boutique with her at his back.

“Check the address twice before sending, okay! Don’t get it wrong.”

Another heavy heave, he enters the car. “It’s not far, only in the town area.”

“I’m leaving.”

An hour later, he is done sending 4 dresses. He glances at the backseat, there are still 5 dresses left to send. Checking the petrol meter, he drives to petrol station to fill his car’s tank. In the middle of his errand, he spares his time to relax for a while at McDonald. Enjoying the burger and cold cola, he sets out to continue his errand. He adjusts the air conditioner and turns on the radio, a voice greets him – the exact voice that he didn’t hear for a long time. _5 days? Long time?_

_“Hi! Han-ssi, so what is your song recommendation for today?”_

A soft laugh, as usual. “Ah,” Seungcheol smiles at it.

_“Lately I’ve been listening to Korean songs so my pick for today is Dandelion from Bol4.”_

He can feel his exhales now are getting calmer and suddenly the hot weather is not a deal for him when he hums to the song that is played which is recommended by Jeonghan.

_Ah, Jeonghan._

Then, it ends - the song and his voice. Seungcheol is driving back to his mother’s boutique with a smile ghosting on his face.

When he enters into the boutique, he hears laughter and his mother’s voice. Politely, he bows as soon as the people are about to leave. There are a woman and a girl, probably his around his age and she throws a smile at him before hugging his mother.

“Oh, so this is your son?” The woman asks now that Seungcheol is scooting to his mother.

She rubs his back, “Yes. He works at Seoul, a professor.”

Forcing a smile, he keeps up the façade as he reads the situation. The girl is pretty, Seungcheol thinks. Peach skin contrasting her red turtleneck, tied her dark brown hair in a high ponytail, revealing her silver earrings that shaped like star. She stands next to the woman, is she her mother?

“A professor?” The woman’s mouth turns into an ‘o’ and proceeds to shake hand with him. He takes the hand and gently shakes it. “A professor at this young age? You raised your son well.”

His mother replies with a small laugh. “I’m 27.”

“Just 2 years older than my daughter.” _Daughter?_ He glances at the girl and senses where this going is so he looks at his mother. “You’re very handsome.”

“Thanks. My name is Choi Seungcheol.” He nods.

“I’m Kim Minkyung. This is my daughter,” She pushes the girl forward, “Seo Minjae.”

Not knowing how to react, they bow at each other, masking a little laugh. “Nice to meet you, Minjae-ssi.”

“Nice to meet you too, Seungcheol-ssi,”

“Then, we take our leave.” With that, the mother and the daughter leaves, leaving him to receive a meaningful look from his mother which he can’t quite decipher.

“What’s this?” He asks, letting out the frustration from his chest.

“My regular customer. She wanted to meet you, for her daughter.”

He turns at her, hands on his hipbone, “Mom,”

She busies herself with the measuring tape, “I know. I didn’t say anything. She just wanted to see you.”

“I’m sorry,” his eyes search for the ground.

“Seungcheol, look.” She approaches him, patting his head. “I won’t force you but it would be impolite if I said no to her. After all, she said that my son is handsome.” A smile curls on her face, slowly cooing him. “I would be the happiest mother when people say my son is good looking.”

Feeling suddenly small and somehow lost, he embraces her, her shoulder just right on the comfortable height for him to nuzzle his face against it. “I’m just not ready.” He tightens his wrap around her, “I’m sorry.”

She brushes it off by tapping his back, “Don’t think about it.”

When she closes the boutique at evening, Seungcheol takes her out for a dinner. Just the two of them and when he calls his father to inform their whereabouts, he sulks at the other side of phone. She picks an Italian restaurant which is run by her acquaintance’s friend. And when he sees another smile from her while she’s eating her favorite pasta, he knows he needs this. He’ll make time for it – he _definitely_ will.

Seungcheol goes to the backyard, to check his tangerine that he planted few days ago. Crouching, he strokes the leaves and smells at it, tickling his nose and he smiles looking at the growing tangerine. Seconds later, his smile dies. _“Smell at it”_

This reminds him of Jeonghan when they spent time together at Jeonghan’s garden and he can’t seem to forget the eye that held all of the world’s curiosity as the younger asked him how does vanilla smells like. What is he doing now? How is he? Where is him? It has been… Seungcheol lost count of the days that he didn’t see him. Lost in Jeonghan’s thought, his attention is back when he hisses at a stinging pain on his ankle where an ant is climbing on it. He quickly stands up, dusting his leg and searches for his phone once he jumps on the couch.

They didn’t text each other since the night Seungcheol asked him about his radio program. He taps on the text, thinking would it be weird if he asks him where is him. _Heck!_ Why it should be his concern? Should he just call him? So he decides to check any of his social media while Kkuma hops on him. Wait. Does he have one?

He clicks on the search bar at Instagram and like the nerd he is, he types Jeonghan and scrolls through thousands of search result that shows up. Not giving up, he tries again with Yoon Jeonghan but in avail. _‘Han-ssi,’_ He remembers that the radio jockey called Jeonghan as Han and he finds his picture under a radio profile which tags a user: Yoon1004. He clicks on it and the feed is full of random pictures and he’s impressed of Jeonghan’s artistic skill. But there is no his picture posted. Kkuma licks his cheeks, petting her; Seungcheol clicks on a very familiar picture.

It is a less blurry picture of a cherry blossom tree and under it, there is a black car. The place looks like his campus and the caption is: _Found you!_

‘My car?’ Silence as he studies the picture.

Then he checks the date, 9th May 2020 – his disciplinary conduct day. Mouth hanging open and lines drawn on his forehead, he looks for any other post that could confirm his curiosity but there is none. Jeonghan’s recent post is a roof picture captioned with, _You’re My Spring_ and added with a music note emoticon.

The name of the playlist folder.

Kkuma stays silent beside him as he rubs his face.

“Where are you?” he whispers to himself.

As he walks to the garden, he is greeted by Hyunjae with a loud, “Hi.”

Seungcheol bows and smiles, waving his hand from far. Hyunjae gets out of his car which he parked at his garage and walks towards Seungcheol who is standing rather awkwardly, fidgeting with the thread of his shirt.

They shake hands, “How’re you doing?”

“Good. Hyunjae-ssi?”

Hyunjae pats his back, “Call me hyung, we’re like family now.”

Once again, he bows. “Hyung,”

“What are you doing here?”

“Nothing, just to hang around at the garden.” Seungcheol invites him to the small table at the said garden and enters the kitchen to make them teas.

Minutes after, he returns to the garden and serves Hyunjae a cup of honey tea and sips his own. “Did you come from work?”

Hyunjae nods, pressing his lips together after sipping the hot tea. “You are good at making tea. It’s sweet.”

Giving him a thankful smile, Seungcheol replies, “I rely on these kinds of teas a lot.” He watches the older’s reaction and proceeds, “I have sleeping problems, that’s why.”

“You can’t sleep?”

He briefly nods. “I have a friend who runs a clinic and good at treating insomnia. Do you want to see him? I have his number.”

Seungcheol holds the cup, rubbing his palms against the warmth, trying to create an excuse from going to doctor to treat his insomnia. “Thanks hyung, but it’s reducing now and not as worst as before. I think I can handle it. I’m sorry.”

Hyunjae exhales, “If you say so. But ask me anytime, okay?”

“Of course.”

They settle in a comfortable silence before Hyunjae asks him. “I heard you work at Seoul University?”

“Yes, I am a Literature Professor.”

“Is that how you know Jeonghan?”

_Jeonghan._

“Not quite. I know he studies at there after meeting him here.”

Hyunjae’s expression changes and his tone suddenly sound stern that Seungcheol has to be careful with his words.

“You two are close for someone who just knows each other for more than a week.” His fingers tap the cup holder as he stares at him.

A breeze of awkwardness and cautiousness brushes over him. “I’m glad that we grew closer.” He tries to sound bold but he is anxious of the response would be.

Promptly, Hyunjae stands, loosening his necktie. “I’m glad too that he’s making _friend_. I take my leave, then.”

For some reason, his reply seems more like a statement that shouldn’t be crossed or gone abide by. Once Hyunjae is gone, Seungcheol watches over Kkuma who is running circle on the grass as he ponders around the word ‘friend’, lips curling into a lazy smile.

_Was there a line between us?_

Packing his stuffs in his room, Seungcheol hears a loud, cheerful voice from outside. He runs to the open window, beaming at the sight of Areum jumping out from the school bus and hugging Juyeong.

“I missed you!” says Areum, putting her turtle bag down.

“My baby,” Juyeong carries her. “Mommy missed you too.”

“We played so much at the camp, mommy. Kwangju was in a different team so we couldn’t meet except eating time. We built a house from the boxes and color papers, just my height while Kwangju’s team built a boat and the winner was the team that made forest.”

Seungcheol laughs at that, attracting the mother and the daughter’s attention to him who is peeking outside from the window. He quickly covers his mouth with his palm, making an apologetic face.

“Enjoying, Seungcheol?”

He clears his throat, waving at them.

“Annyeong noona, hi Areum!”

“Seungcheol oppa!” she jumps on Juyeong’s hold. “It’s my birthday tomorrow!” she announces, smiling widely. He leans forward, opening the window more as he keeps his crossed arms perching on the window frame.

“I’ll buy you a cake then. What flavor do you like?”

Juyeong chimes in. “It’s okay Seungcheol. We are having a small party tomorrow, just with neighbors here. Do come with your parents.”

Seungcheol nods, winking at Areum. “Wait for my gift tomorrow.” Areum’s eyes widen, chuckling to herself.

“Bye Seungcheol.”

Next evening, Seungcheol casually dresses up in a white top beneath a black coat. While his mom is packing her homemade blueberry pudding to bring to the party, he waits on the wooden bench, tapping his phone. Scrolling through his instagram feed, his eyes catch the new post from user Yoon1004. He blinks few times before clicking on the picture post of a view from car window…? The caption is nothing but a single smiling emoticon which was posted half an hour ago.

“Is he back?” he quietly asks himself before he flinches on the bench, shoulders raised.

“Where’s your mom?” his father taps his back.

Surprised, he puts his phone inside his pocket and stands up. “In the kitchen.”

Just a second after, his mother comes, hands are holding a paper bag. “Shall we go?”

When he steps in Areum’s house, he meets with Hyunjae’s smirks. Unable to decipher the smirk, he curtly nods at his direction and walks straight to where Areum is. He spots her, sitting on a green plastic stool, playing with her friends. When he approaches her, as usual, she opens her arm wide as she runs to him and hugs him. Seungcheol quickly kneels down to receive her hug and smiles at her, dimples all sinking in the corner of his mouth.

“Happy birthday, Areum.”

“Thank you Seungcheol oppa!” she smiles too, kissing his cheeks in a light speed. She looks beautiful in a soft purple gown which reaches just under her knee and a unicorn hair band decorating her hair. 

“Here,” he hands her a small flower which he picks on the way. Her face falls a little after receiving it and he can’t help but to let out a chuckle. “Your gift is,” he starts again, studying her. “This!” he gives her a square box wrapped in a blue glittery wrap and her eyes instantly lights up, stomping her feet.

“What’s this?” she asks, containing her smile.

“Open it but later.” She nods and hugs him again. “Stay pretty as you, study well and always love your mom.” After that, he joins his father who is chatting with the guests. Few minutes later, the celebration starts with Areum standing in front of the guests while Juyeong lights up the candles.

Seungcheol is holding a balloon when everyone starts singing but Areum looks hesitant holding the plastic knife. He sneaks through the guests and gives her the balloon he was holding earlier and tells her to smile. Juyeong holds her hand and she smiles, bowing at him. When everyone has stopped singing, he looks at her who is happily cutting the chocolate fudge cake as she feeds Juyeong first.

Walking to the food counter, he feeds himself the blueberry pudding which his mom made and stands aside from others. Scanning the place, he looks for his mom who is nowhere to be found so he asks his dad who responds with, “She must be here; chatting with her friend maybe.”

Areum calls him loud and he quickly slides next to her. Cutting a small piece of cake, he feeds her before fishing out his phone from his pocket and taking a picture. When he was looking at the picture taken, he receives a text.

**_From: Jeonghan [one image attached]_ **

His phone almost slips out of his hand as he clicks on the image which is the picture of him and Areum just now. In hurry, he scans the place, looking for Jeonghan and almost cursed out loud when a finger pokes his cheek.

_That one, again._

“Hi!” he snaps his head at the sweet voice.

Touching his poked cheek, he swiftly turns to meet with a laughing Jeonghan.

_Oh my goodness, this familiar face._

“Seungcheol?” he didn’t realize that he was staring at him until he was called.

Breath knocks in his throat, “Jeonghan?”

“Yes, it’s me. What’s with your face?” he presses his lips together.

Seungcheol scratches his forehead, eyes on the ground. “No, I was just – surprised… to see you. I mean it’s good to see you again.”

“Are you sick?” Jeonghan’s brows drop.

“No! I’m g-good.” He stammers around the simple sentence. “Where did you go?”

Jeonghan smiles instead, “Should we talk outside?”

So few minutes later, they are standing on the wooden bridge which connects the small lake at their neighborhood park. It’s almost 9pm but the sky is dark with no scattered stars or a glowing moon. Perching his elbows on the wooden railing, Jeonghan throws his head backward, softly gazing the vacant sky. Contrary to the pitch black canvas above him, his eyes somehow glitter as if the stars have been sprinkled on them. After throwing him a brief gaze, Seungcheol quietly lands his eyes on the lake.

“How have you been?”

Seungcheol looks at him, straight in the eyes. “As usual – good.” He stops for a second, letting the cold wind brushes pass his face. “Where have you been?” then, he turns, standing before Jeonghan.

Jeonghan stands straight, leaning against the railing. “My classes have started so I was at Seoul.” He breathes, “It’s my last month of last semester.”

“That quick?”

“Yes,” he nods. “I’ll be staying here until the graduation ceremony.”

Seungcheol thinks, “That would be pretty boring.”

Softly chuckling, Jeonghan says, “So I want to search for any part time jobs.” He crosses his arm, eyes finding the ground. “I can save moneys and come to Seoul.”

Now, Seungcheol moves next to him, hands awkwardly holding onto the railing.

“Seoul? For what?”

Seungcheol finds it endearing when Jeonghan turns to the side, elbows still perched and he tilts his head to the side with eyes smiling widely. “Just to visit,” he trails, “I might miss being there.”

The older’s face hold every curiosity buried under his calm expression so he stares at him, without saying anything. Now he finds it weird that he always looks at Jeonghan without knowing, somehow the stare glues on him longer than normally and he can’t break it off. The wind blows again before the sky groans, short yet loud and his heartbeat calms down when Jeonghan just watches the quiet lake.

_What is this?_

“You mean your friends?”

“Not particularly friends,” the thunder alarms again.

Both of them looks up, scans their surrounding for a roofed place to run to since the dripping gets heavier.

“Let’s run.”

So they run, with no destination, just praying they’ll make it to their house before they get drench. With their one hand on their forehead respectively, they run in the empty bright street but unluckily, they’re fully wet.

“I’m giving up.” Says Jeonghan, pausing on his pace while Seungcheol gets into the pagoda.

“Come in,” Seungcheol speaks, rubbing his wet face.

In response, Jeonghan gives him a poker face and stands under the streetlamp, letting the rain drops on his skin. Seungcheol removes his coat; “Jeonghan, come in!” he calls, a little too loud.

“Let me just play with the rain. I’m already wet.”

Seungcheol watches him under the summer rain; the flowers are in a tight bud – they might bloom tomorrow morning, he thinks. Exhaling, his nose is struck by the fresh scent of the wet ground and the smell of rain. He breathes again, before averting his attention to Jeonghan who is looking up with no care in the world, allowing the raindrops to touch him everywhere.

And in that exact moment Jeonghan turns at him, by afar and that fleeting moment feels so perfect – everything about his eyes are catching. So perfect that he just wants to walk out of this enclosed space and run into the rain, to be drenched by the pouring water from the sky of heaven and to pull Jeonghan closer to him.

_Closer?_

Seungcheol is breathing but he doesn’t feel like he’s existing when the sight of Jeonghan being drenched by the night rain is enchanting. He catches him inhaling and it crumbles to his realization – he can’t smell.

But he’s enjoying the given moment like it’s his lifeline. He reaches out his palm and the raindrops pool in it before he splashes it in the air.

_Can he smell the rain? Does he know the scent of the ground right now? How refreshing it is? He doesn’t know how the flower smells and each flower exudes different scent. I can smell the tree bark. I always loved the scent of rain and the earth arouses its scent when the rain spills on it._

“Seungcheol! Come here, the rain has slowed down.”

The smile on his face grows each second and Seungcheol feels like he’s dissolving.

_Spring has ended, but I remember the smell of cherry blossoms._

Jeonghan approaches him and with every step he takes, Seungcheol has come to his sense when he bends forward the barrier while Jeonghan stands the opposite side of him.

_God._

Since the pagoda is built higher than the ground, Jeonghan has to lift his head to meet with Seungcheol. A small lightning flashes across the sky as the rain has slowed down and swear to god, Seungcheol can see the lightning vaguely in his eyes. It electrifies his gut to hold on this very moment when Jeonghan smiles at him and he hopes for whatever his heart has been loud for to happen naturally.

“You don’t like rain?”

“I just don’t want to get wet.”

_What else he can’t smell?_

Jeonghan scans him from his head to his toes, “You’re already wet though.”

Seungcheol is aware how close they are now but brushing it off like it doesn’t matter.

_Why should it matter?_

Jeonghan’s eyelashes stick to his cheekbones when he rubs his eyes and the clinging raindrop on his face obliviously slides down his jaw. He tenses at that, desperately want to stroke his face.

_Seungcheol, you’re insane!_

After the rain has stopped, they sit on the pagoda – not having plans to go home.

“Have you been listening to my playlist?”

“That’s the only thing keeping me company when you were away.”

Jeonghan snorts playfully, “I thought you’ve your sweetheart, Kkuma.”

“She is no exception, always my number 1.”

“Oh to be a puppy,”

Seungcheol snaps, “Why? Do you want to be my number 1?”

Jeonghan’s quiet laugh fades, “can I?”

It’s Seungcheol’s turn to fall silent.

_“But if you find someone that you like, tell it to me. No matter whom it is.”_

Jeonghan abruptly stands up, reaching a hand to him. “Should we go home?”

And when they head home with no words uttered, their shoulders brushes against each other briefly, poking him to say anything.

_Can he smell me?_

He commits it to his mind.

When they bid goodbye, a will grows inside him: he wants to be like the rain for him.

Despite all this, he still has no clue about the _feeling_.

“I take my leave then!” for the nth last time he hugs his mother while Kkuma is in his hold.

“Be careful on the road.” His father reminds him.

He closes the bonnet after putting all of his luggage and stuffs inside it. He kisses Kkuma fondly before handing her to his father, “I’ll miss you, baby.”

“I have packed the teas and the lavender seed. Grow them in your room, okay.”

Seungcheol presses his mouth as he pat his mother’s shoulder. “I will.”

“Seungcheol oppa!” Areum runs to him, followed by Juyeong at her back.

“Are you already leaving?”

“Yes, noona.” Seungcheol answers, crouching at Areum’s height, hugging her.

Areum pouts, “When will you come back?”

He presses his mouth, thinking, “Let’s see.”

Areum reaches out her pinky finger, “Then, it’s a promise.” They link their pinky promise before he kisses her cheek.

“Call us when you’ve arrived.”

“Yes, dad.” He enters his car and for one last time, his mother kisses his forehead. “I’ll comeback in weekend if I’m free.”

His father playfully hits him, “Just come!”

“Take care.”

When he sets off to Seoul, he sighs at the life he’ll be facing again. Just then he receives a call, he answers it via Bluetooth.

[“Cheol, I’m sorry for not sending you off.”]

“Jeonghan?”

[“Yes. I woke up late.”]

He chuckles softly into the call, “It’s fine.”

[“I’ll visit you soon.”]

“Jeonghan, it’s okay.”

A huff is heard on the other side of line, [“I will come.”]

 _What’s up with him?_ “Okay,” he lets out a laugh. “Let’s meet soon.” _Am I making a promise?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's my [cc](https://t.co/QI2P5XovbG) & [twitter](https://t.co/fL7whEd6Oj)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what got into me for this chapter to hit 7k+ anyway hope u enjoy it!

**_Labyrinth - Jealous_ **

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: morning!_

**_You_ ** _: good morning!_

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: r u on ur way to campus?_

**_You_ ** _: just parked._

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: have a nice day! ttyl!!_

**_You_ ** _: u too_

With a smile spread on his face, he pushes his phone inside his pocket back before stepping into the campus building. Familiar humidity embraces him once he enters the campus and he whispers to himself, “Let’s start the day!”

“Holy shit,” is what escapes from his mouth when he is inside his cabin to see thick dust covering his desk and some files. He can clearly see the dust particle swaying in the morning air through the sunlight that peeks into his working space. How can that much dust pile up in just two weeks?

_Just two weeks?_

It felt like a month in Daegu – all those moments and people.

He scratches the back of his head, put his bag on the floor and calls the cleaning lady to hand him a dirty towel.

“I can clean up, Seungcheol-ssi.” Says the lady who’s in her mid 40.

“No problem. It’s my desk, I should clean it up.”

However the lady refuses, “I am paid for this.”

“No, really. I have some times to kill until my class starts so,” he begs, displaying his puppy eyes, “please?”

The lady shakes her head, sighing; she gives the towel to him. He quickly wets it and wipes his desk until he can no longer see any trace of the dust and dirt. The office is still empty, maybe other lectures have early morning classes, he thinks. He has already cleared his trash bin, dust off the files and has arranged the messy papers. To let more sunlight, he opens the window and finally plops down on the chair. His phone beeps, notifying a new message. He rubs his face and reads the message; it’s his new class schedule.

“Why the hell they would change it?” he softly whispers.

Another beep.

**_Mom_ ** _: did you eat?_

**_You_ ** _: yes. 2 sandwich toast and iced coffee._

He receives no reply after that so he stays on the message.

_Beep._

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: [one image attached]_

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: I made this! For breakfast._

**_Jeonghan_ ** _: ok bye! eat ur meals on time._

Seungcheol blinks. Something inside him heats up and his he can feel his heart going crazy as he freezes, staring blankly at the picture of hoteok. _Oh my god_. He throws his phone on the desk, turns away from it and throws his head back before shutting his eyes close. His twitching lips and his burning chest, what could it be?

Will he ever get to it?

Without replying to his text, he prepares himself for his first class.

“Sir!” the whole classroom echoes upon his entrance. He shyly smiles, placing the study materials on the table and greets them. Even if he denies it, he missed _this_.

“Hyung!” Seokmin hugs him so tight while Wonwoo smirks behind him.

“Seokmin,” he coughs. “Let me breathe.”

After releasing him, he pouts. “I missed you.”

Seungcheol pats him at the back, “I missed you too.” Adding a smile at the sentence, he assures him.

“Enough of the disgust.” Wonwoo cuts in, squeezing his figure in between them. Seungcheol looks up, hit him on his nape and sits back to enjoy his lunch.

“Ouch.”

“When did you come?”

Seungcheol heaves, “You didn’t know?”

“Seokmin, you should know everything about him. Don’t you know how much of a pissbaby is he?”

Sending a glare to Wonwoo, he clears his throat. “Saturday.”

“So? How are you?” Seokmin asks, hand sneakily taking his apple juice.

“Like the usual.”

Wonwoo scoffs, “You’re no fun! Tell us what happened. The Jeonghan guy too.”

Seungcheol snaps his head at him, eyes sharp and a little bewildered.

“Jeonghan?” Seokmin’s brows knit, focusing at Seungcheol as he pursues his mouth, “Yoon Jeonghan?”

“You know him too?” Wonwoo shifts, now sitting across them.

“Is it him?”

“How do you know him?” After putting his confusion aside, Seungcheol asks – curious.

Seokmin takes another sip of his apple juice and he does an expression of recalling something as he nods. “I assist one of his classes and it was Professor Minhyun at that time. He tried to woo him, asking him to come to his cabin after every class.” Seungcheol tenses at it but he keeps his face solemn, his naengmyeon is long forgotten on the bowl.

Wonwoo blinks a few times, “That oldie did what?”

“Yes. I have seen Jeonghan at his office like… 3 times? He’s always uncomfortable around Professor Minhyun and one time I saw him stomping on his feet. Deserves.”

A smug slip across Seungcheol’s face as he heaves with a heavy grin, now grabbing the chopsticks to eat the naengmyeon.

“But what’s your business with Jeonghan?”

He lifts his head, looking at Seokmin nonchalantly. “Nothing.”

But Wonwoo decides to expose him, “Nothing? You went on date with him and it’s nothing?”

Seokmin eyes widen, “What?” it slips out of his mouth loudly.

Seungcheol grits his teeth, “It wasn’t a date. We just went out, _together_. That’s it.” He put up a defense wall, not knowing why but he felt like to do so when there is absolutely nothing between him and Jeonghan. It should be that way. He ignores his rebelling mind that is whispering into his ear that it is the other way around and gulps down the soup in the bowl, trying his best to shut his betraying voice in his head.

“Hyung, do you want to tell us anything?” Seokmin quietly asks, peeking into his wall.

So he puts down the bowl, a sigh leaves his mouth and Wonwoo watches him with a poker face.

“I don’t know - I don’t want to know,” his head is still dropped, “whatever it is. I’m not ready. I was happy to find out we are neighbors and he gave me a playlist to help me sleep.” He carefully lifts his head, afraid of the eyes that are glued on him. “I want it to stop, I can’t be like this. Isn’t it weird?”

_Weird?_

“Why is it weird?”

“I-“ he finds for a word. “Me to be like this? Maybe it’s infatuation? It… should be right?”

Wonwoo and Seokmin wait for him to build a proper sentence and a veil of silence falls on them. It feels like a ticking bomb for Seungcheol. It can burst any second and he _hates_ it when he can’t tell what it is. Words are boiling in his chest yet he can’t spill it.

“Hyung?”

Seungcheol chews on his lip and blinks, “Lunch time is over.” He takes out his phone as he pretends to check anything on it. “Bye.” He leaves them worrying over him.

Messages from Seokmin and Wonwoo flood his notifications. Instead of replying to them, he put his phone on silent; throw it on the couch and heads to the kitchen. Last night he had a good sleep despite his restraint of relying on the radio program. Maybe he should get a grip of himself of expecting something that he isn’t sure yet and dissolve all of the hesitant bubbles, he thinks.

Everything was good the last two week and a wave of uncertainty washes over him and his heart sinks knowing he shouldn’t be doing _this_. He is aware of his betraying heart when he still listens to the playlist given by Jeonghan once a day. Something inside him yearns for that and he couldn’t say no. After a new day rises, he needs to be serious about it, he is determined.

But what is the root of his fear, of his hesitancy? He doesn’t know it either and he silently hopes that whatever it is, it will stop on its own before he puts it to an end when he knows how he has become attached to it.

_“But if you find someone that you like, tell it to me. No matter whom it is.”_

Again, the word of his mother haunts him and thankfully it resolves his mountain of fears. Yet, reality turns in and forces him to get over it.

Seungcheol hates it. He hates it so much after he said that he isn’t ready for any commitment and the fall of his mother’s face is still vivid in his memory. Even when it was only for a nano second, he wants to curl on his bed and never have to face the lingering image in his head.

Seungcheol gulps down the cold water, letting it wash the burn in his chest that is still flaming since Jeonghan’s text.

Lazily, he slides down the couch and turns on the television; leave it playing while he scrolls through his phone. In his camera roll, there are pictures of Kkuma which curls his mouth into a smile of fondness and the most recent one is the picture he took with Areum on her birthday last week. It has just been 2 days and he already misses them, even though he is sad, but to remember back all those memories he has made in his hometown doesn’t leave him lonely as he thought it would.

So he closes his eyes to take a nap or to at least shut down every thought that has been disturbing him. It feels good, Seungcheol thinks. After coming back to his usual routine, he isn’t _that_ tired to sigh over since he has good memories of _everything_.

Later when he wakes up after an hour, he sighs to find out there isn’t food for his dinner so dressing in a casual tee and sweatpants, he drives to his usual restaurant to feed his belly. He doesn’t even bother to wash his face because he knows the place which is 10 minutes drive will not be crowded – 5 customers usually will be at this hour.

Or he thought.

A familiar figure who is embraced in trench checkered coat catches his attention and he gulps his saliva after recognizing the face which he has seen only once.

She walks passes him, her heels perfectly knocking on the ground with each step, alarming Seungcheol’s ear that she is near and he drives his focus to the menu card after he sees that she is seated far away from him. It leaves his mouth dry when he finally remembers her name, Seo Minjae – the daughter of her mother’s friend.

From what he remembers, she was a shy woman, eyes only finding the ground even when she introduced herself. But now she looks much elegant and confident, walking with grace as she keeps her eyes on where she’s headed. Seungcheol reminds himself not to care about her when he realizes that she isn’t alone but with another girl – probably around her age. Quietly eating his kimchi fried rice, he glances over them whose eyes are filled with sincerity and fondness which he can’t find an exact word to replace it.

But he can’t take his eyes off them, not after witnessing them holding each other’s hands and when they’re about to leave, a fluttering kiss is placed on Minjae’s cheek, just a second before the three of them bumps their gaze. Minjae is tensed when she sees Seungcheol and he curses under his mutter, snapping his head down on the plate.

Seungcheol promptly stands up after noticing Minjae and the other girl is approaching him through the corner of his eyes.

“Hi,” he quickly greets them before things could get more awkward.

“Uh, hi.” Minjae stutters at first but with one assuring smile he gives her for whatever reason he has predicted, she relaxes. “She’s Eunbi,” she introduces the other girl to him and they gladly shake their hand. “Eunbi, he’s Choi Seungcheol.”

“Nice to meet you.”

After chatting for a while, Seungcheol gets to know that Eunbi lives near Dongjak and they planned to meet up today. Eunbi is practical nurse while Minjae is a fashion major student, both are in their final year and they’re peers. While they’re in conversation, Seungcheol can’t help but to glue his eyes on them, smiling to each other and their hands are always connected. It looks lovely, he can’t deny it.

So when he is about to walk out, Minjae calls him after Eunbi goes to washroom with eyes full of plead. A worry roots in him.

“Seungcheol-ssi, I hope you won’t get this wrong, that you’re not disgusted by me – by me and Eunbi.”

He turns to her, confused. “Why? Why would I?”

“You’re not?”

“N-no, of course no-“ then it sinks into him and he keeps looking at Minjae with his mouth messily mumbling incoherent words. All of the lovely interactions between them flash across his brain and he just smiles, shakes his head and pats her tensed shoulder.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re doing what you like, with the person you like.”

Her knitted brows find its place, “My mom doesn’t know about this. She wants to set us up and I don’t have courage to tell her.”

“Hey, I’m sure she has forgotten that.”

Her eyes droop and she heaves. “I know, but me and Eunbi - I’m scared,”

A gut tingles inside him, _“You two are close for someone who just knows each other for more than a week.”_

“I don’t know what to say, Minjae-ssi and I’m in no place to judge you and I won’t – it’s your life. I’m sure your mom will understand that.” Seungcheol bites his lip, feeling like a shit for saying it but what else he could say? When he, himself isn’t sure in what state he is.

Minjae briefly looks at him – it’s so distant and he is unable to decipher it.

“You don’t know how my mom is. She’ll disown me.”

Yet again, his mother’s word envelops his silence in a comfort.

“I didn’t understand myself until I met Eunbi – she’s too good for me and I was scared that I might take her granted for what I was feeling, for the sake of who I am.” She blinks but then a glint shines in her eyes like she has found hope. “But Eunbi told me that it’s okay to be who you are, that it is inevitable to be drawn to your own identity, to hold on my faith of my real self and that it is okay and it is up to me to choose who I wanna be with.”

Seungcheol smiles at the thought of, _‘Falling in love is easy, as simple as it.’_

The city around him blinks in a thousand lights and for once all those doubts he had is now faded along with the night air, he doesn’t even realize that when all he is doing is smiling at Minjae’s words. As if he has found an escape, a clear state of himself.

“It’s good that you held onto that and I hope you won’t lose that.” It slips out of his mouth before he can think. Eunbi runs to them and apologizes for being late. Minjae and Eunbi quickly hold their hand, as if their courage is kept in that.

“I’m happy for both of you.” With that, he drives back to his house.

After that his day runs as usual, hustle as it seems but he has no regrets.

In the morning, he will wake up with a pair of tangled headphones beside his bed and after dressing up, he will get his morning coffee with less sugar on his way to the campus to be welcomed by a bright sky since its summer before attending his classes. He meets Wonwoo and Seokmin but they don’t bring up their previous conversation and knowing that, Seungcheol relaxes.

They’ll meet up for lunch and sometimes loosen up themselves at their regular bar, taking few shots but Seungcheol will stay tipsy – he has high alcohol tolerance unlike Wonwoo.

And when the next day turns up, the cycle repeats.

His classes are most packed on Thursday and Friday that he has to stay back until late evening to settle his stuffs because he doesn’t like to bring his study material to home. He just wants to lie down once he arrives home, nothing else.

Like it is his daily basis, Jeonghan’s text every morning makes his day to start better. It will be random messages every day just to keep the conversation going and its all thanks Jeonghan who makes it lively because Seungcheol sucks at messaging. They have grown closer, Seungcheol thinks and it assures him in some way. 

On a Friday, Jeonghan texted him at 6 in the morning that he is coming to Seoul which he read it at 10 am and the whole day he can’t sit still just to wait for Jeonghan.

The younger didn’t tell him that he is coming to the campus or to see him and he didn’t tell him that they’ll meet up. Fearing that it’ll be too obvious, Seungcheol didn’t ask either. So Seungcheol spent his day restless waiting for any call or text just to see Jeonghan.

He couldn’t help it when his classes ended, he waited in the campus for an hour but with no sign of Jeonghan, he decided to go home.

And it rained. _Fuck_.

But when he arrives home after having dinner on his own, his breath is lost.

“Jeonghan?”

The said guy is crouching on the floor with his back against the wall next to his apartment door, scrolling through his phone, pouting with his chin on his knees and a plastic bag is beside him.

With a pair of lively eye that shuts down the lightning across the sky, he quickly stands up straight and smiles at him; leaving his heart in a ditch.

Wondering where his breath is gone, a strangled voice comes out instead. “What are you doing here?” he slowly approaches him while his brain is still processing the image in front of his eyes.

“Didn’t I tell you that I’m coming here?”

“Yeah,” he breathes. “You didn’t say that you’re coming to my house.”

Jeonghan heaves and eyes that focused on him now are on the floor. “Wouldn’t you invite me into your house first?”

Seungcheol’s hands immediately gropes inside the pocket of his coat, fiddling to find the key. _‘I am more than willing.’_ He wanted to say but he opens the door, stumbles a little which earns him a splutter of small laugh from Jeonghan. “Come in.”

When he steps into his house, the tile floor which is usually cold now is strangely warm and he turns to see Jeonghan who seems amazed by the interior design.

“Your house is warm.”

_‘I realized it just now, too.’_

“The heater is working fine.” Like an idiot he is, he comments.

Another laugh fills the house and Seungcheol wonders if the walls around him have ever heard a laugh before.

“Make yourself at home. Do you want coffee?”

Jeonghan nods and he sits at the edge of the couch, looking small and Seungcheol snorts at the sight. “Hey, be comfortable. You’re my guest.” He disappears into the kitchen and quickly makes a coffee.

When he comes back with a warm coffee, Jeonghan is untying the plastic bag. “Have you had dinner?” he asks as he takes the mug.

“Yes-“ his words are stuck when Jeonghan takes out food containers from the bag and opens them. “Is that lamb stew?”

“Yes. Your mom packed some food for you when I told her that I’m coming here.” Jeonghan explains and he blankly stares at him, the familiar heat blooms again in his chest.

“You can go shower first. I’ll heat up all these.”

“Okay.” He promptly stands while Jeonghan carries the containers to the kitchen. “The microwave is at the left cabinet.”

He dresses in a plain shirt and sweatpants after showering and looks at the reflection of himself in the mirror in his room. At outside, there is Jeonghan who magically appeared after the hard rain turns into drizzles and brings his mom’s homemade food which he always drools for. It doesn’t feel like a dream but it feels like all a dream for Seungcheol and he wants to slap himself.

“Cheol?”

 _That nickname_. He didn’t hear it for a quite while.

He comes out of his room and helps Jeonghan to set up the table and they sit across each other on the fur carpet – feeling ever comfortable. Suddenly, Jeonghan leans in to take a good smell of the foods while Seungcheol watches him in awe. Quietly matching eyes with him, Jeonghan chuckles, “Don’t mind me. Of course I can’t smell.”

“I didn’t mean that.”

“Don’t worry. It’s your mother, who made it, I’m sure it smells good.”

To that, Seungcheol plasters a smile.

They eat in a silence for a while before Seungcheol decides to break it. “How did you know my house?”

Jeonghan swallows his food, “Your father gave the address to me.”

“Oh.”

Seungcheol eyes the food on the table – lamb stew, radish kimchi, beansprout soup, omelet, marinated crab and stir fried clam. There are too much to digest. Rubbing his stomach, he lets out a small burp. Actually he can’t eat because he had dinner before and his stomach is still full but putting that aside, since his mom made it for him, he can’t resist and forces himself to eat.

“Was it easy to find my apartment?”

“I’m quite familiar at this road so yes, it was easy. Not a big deal.”

To let his stomach rest, he speaks again. “You could have told me that you’re coming. It’s not nice for me to let you wait outside.”

Jeonghan puts down his chopsticks, “I wanted to surprise you. Isn’t it good to see me?”

_‘You have no idea.’_

Seungcheol chuckles at the question and leans back with his arms supporting him.

“But why were you late?”

Seungcheol bites his tongue, “I had stuffs to do.” Then, he watches Jeonghan eat, he stuffs his mouth with every side dish and munch it them together. It’s so satisfying to watch his cheeks inflating and full.

“Were you waiting for long?”

With his full mouth, he answers. “For 15 minu-“ he chokes and Seungcheol quickly leans in to grab the glass of water and feeds him with his hand at the back of his neck. His fingers are enveloped by Jeonghan’s on the glass as he drinks and Seungcheol ignores the tingles alarming his heart.

“Eat slowly.” He says, sitting back on his position.

“Aren’t you going to eat that? Why am I eating it all alone?” Jeonghan complaints.

“Oh sure. I’m sorry.”

“Your mom made that when I told her yesterday so eat it.”

Feeling guilt emerges him, he picks the chopstick and proceeds eating.

“But why did you come to Seoul?” he asks.

Jeonghan, who has finished eating, now leans back against the couch. “Had to pick my stuffs at the college.”

Seungcheol blinks. “So you came to the college?” Jeonghan nods as he wipes his mouth.

“Why didn’t you meet me there? I wouldn’t have let you waiting for me.”

“Told you it’s a surprise.” Jeonghan shakes his head. “Or do you not like me in your house?”

The older buffers, “Oh my god, no. You’re my first guest. I am more than happy to have you here.” He states and Jeonghan – once again, like it’s a _natural_ habit of him – smiles at him, which again, leaves his heart in _the_ flame.

When he finishes eating, his stomach acts up – he should’ve seen this coming. But without giving it attention, he helps Jeonghan to clear the table and proceeds to do the dishes before stopped by the younger.

“Let me do the dishes, please. You can relax at the front.”

Then it starts – his chest suffocates and he hits it to give it air but it worsens. He quietly walks to the fridge to drink cold water. “Cheol,” Jeonghan calls. “Your face is so pale.” Few lines form on his forehead and he already stands next to him, holding his hand and leads him to the couch.

“Are you having upset stomach?” he asks, rubbing his back up and down and gently hitting on it. Unable to speak, Seungcheol just nods. “Where’s needle and thread? I’ll get them.”

“I don’t h-have,” he lazily says and leans to the side.

“Can I go into your room?” at Seungcheol’s nod, he runs into his room and comes back seconds later with a thumbtack. “Sit up straight, Seungcheol.” He orders and sits next to him as he hits his back several times and rubs his arm. “Give me your thumb.” Still rubbing his arm and down to his palm, he pokes his thumb with the pin, leaving him in a sting.

“Does it hurt?”

Seungcheol hisses but he continues to pat his back. “Thanks.” Seungcheol walks to the sink to wash his hand.

“I’m sorry; I didn’t know you were full.” Seungcheol almost bumps into Jeonghan when he turns. A hint of regret flashes over Jeonghan’s face and seeing that, Seungcheol slaps himself mentally for showing his upset stomach so obvious.

“It’s nothing – it’s actually good to eat home food. I’ve been missing her too.”

Jeonghan’s eyes perk at that, “She’s doing well.”

“I’m glad.”

“Should I make you a ginger tea?” Jeonghan asks as Seungcheol slides on the couch, hands searching for TV remote.

“Jeonghan, you’re my guest. Just sit down with me.”

Even after minutes has passed, Seungcheol can’t bring himself to absorb the reality that Jeonghan is in his house – brought him his mother’s food, helped him to aid his indigestion, did the dishes and now perking to make him a tea. He’s all good for someone who has been a _friend_ to him for over a month. “I’m okay now.” He assures him.

But Jeonghan isn’t someone to lose easily, he has learnt it now. “I’m not being pushy here,” his voice trails. “Ginger tea helps to cure your tummy now and it would be good if you drink it now.”

Seungcheol stands up, shaking his head and glides a toothy smile at him, already walking back short distance to the kitchen. “Only with honey added.”

Jeonghan follows behind him and takes the pot high up in the cabinet, pouring hot water into it while Seungcheol hands him a bottle of honey to which he raises a brow.

“Where’s the tea bag?”

Seungcheol shrugs, “I don’t have a ginger tea.”

Jeonghan stands still, not moving a muscle and to his grace, he thinks it’s cute.

“Then, give me a ginger. That’ll do.”

He isn’t sure if he has a ginger in the fridge when he rubs at his nape but rummages through the fridge and luckily, he finds one. After peeling off the skin, Jeonghan washes the ginger and cut it in small pieces before smashing it and throwing it into the teapot. Tingles of tickles and warmth absorbs into Seungcheol’s chest upon noticing how the other guy treats him and with one last smile, he squeezes a good amount of honey into the tea and stirs it.

Later, they cozily settle on the couch – silently next to each other with a big space between them and sipping the tea. His tongue jerks at the bittersweet taste of the tea but swallows it eventually because Jeonghan made it _for him_. He keeps it in his mind.

“What time did you arrive?”

“Around 2,”

“And you went straight to the campus?”

“I met a friend first.” Jeonghan puts the cup on the table, his cheeks rise up. “He wanted my last project draft as a reference and I had to meet Professor Minhyun for my essay mark.”

 _That pervert._ Seungcheol hisses under his quiet mutter.

“Are you close with him?” Seungcheol asks to confirm Seokmin’s story, he claims it himself.

However, he makes a comedic face; brows are lift up as he scoffs. “No. He’s trying his luck around me.” Jeonghan confesses so easily. “I’m so uncomfortable around him, he’s a pervert honestly and I saw a strand of white hair on him.” Splutters of laugh escaping.

That relaxes him, unsure of the reason so he shuffles on the couch to see a better image of Jeonghan and hangs his arm on the couch. “He’s a hag.”

“Isn’t he 40? Something like that?” Jeonghan calms down and inhales. “One day I kicked him and he never touched me again.”

Okay now that irritates Seungcheol, he sits up straight. “Where the hell did he touch you?” anger is subtle in his voice.

“It’s embarrassing.” He says.

Fist curls up and jaws tightens, “I will smack him next week, don’t worry.”

Jeonghan contains his laugh and leans in, “So I have a knight now?”

“I can be one for you. Just name it, I’ll punch them.” Seungcheol boldly states, knowing the weight if the word uttered and not flinching when the other shortens the space between them.

But he’s gone as quickly as he comes in. “It’s good to know that I have one. Be ready all the time okay, you’ll be summoned.”

Putting aside the joke, Seungcheol genuinely worried for him when he asks, “No but seriously did he do anything else?”

“Nah, he squeezed my thighs and put his hand on my back, called me to his cabin just to look at me. Sometimes pinching my waist.”

The flame burns again in his palm, “Why didn’t you report him? The committee might’ve taken any action against him.”

The tea is long forgotten on the table, it’s getting cold. Jeonghan brushes it anyway.

“I don’t have energy to do that, plus it’s my last year. He’ll be punished, I’m sure.”

Seungcheol scoots closer as his hands settle on his thigh awkwardly. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. I promise I’ll get him expelled.”

Jeonghan turns at him, “You’d do that for me?”

Seungcheol quietly nods, meeting his gaze and he feels so comfortable like _this_ – having a conversation, tonight, the furniture and the walls around him meet someone new, someone who has grown closer to him – and he wants to keep it this way or maybe to deepen it, to give this relationship another word, if it’s what both of them feel. He wonders what Jeonghan feels for him.

_But, what do you feel for him?_

The entire surrounding fall silent at his thought, the rain outside has quiet down and Jeonghan stands, heading to the door.

Perplexed, Seungcheol jumps from the couch, “You’re going?”

As if it is known, he nods before eyeing the clock on the wall. “Yes.”

Seungcheol can’t hold himself so he holds onto the doorknob. “To Daegu?”

“No, to my house.”

_‘He has a house here?’_

Seungcheol tilts his head, “You have a house?”

“Just near here, small rented apartment.”

 _‘Can I see your house, then?’_ Seungcheol almost asked but his grip on the doorknob loosens as he opens the door, feeling the air in his lung going along.

“Drive safe. It’s already dark.” His voice shrinks and he can’t hear himself. Jeonghan turns his back on him as he steps out of his door and suddenly the tile freezes – Seungcheol can’t adhere to it anymore.

For one last time for the night – since he doesn’t know when he’ll _feel_ this again – Jeonghan smiles at him again.

“Actually I’m staying here for a while.” Jeonghan says like it’s a spell for Seungcheol.

And it’s true, the spell rings into his ear and the sparkles of it sprinkled into his eyes. “How long?”

Jeonghan buries his hand into the pocket of his coat, his mouth is pressed, “I’m not sure, maybe until graduation but my apartment has another 2 year contract. We’ll see.”

“Are you free tomorrow?” the question rolls out of his tongue so quick.

Seungcheol can see that Jeonghan holds back for a brief second, he is taken aback but as if everything is possible, a smile is reflected on him.

“Yes – all day.” They chuckle; the sound of the rain isn’t heard anymore.

Morning arrives fast for Seungcheol who hasn’t sleep well last night – maybe it’s because of excitement. He doesn’t have a plan for today; instead, he just wants to explore the city which he hasn’t much since he’s a homeboy – literally.

Usually on weekends, he would spend his days all along in the house, too tired to hang out and only went out to restock his groceries but today, he doesn’t feel like it anymore. He should get a fresh air, he thinks.

So when he arrives in front of Jeonghan’s apartment 20 minutes later, he has already made up his mind – for whatever reason it might be, mostly to finally let go of his hesitancy.

He waits inside of his car at the parking lot after receiving a text from Jeonghan, saying he’ll be down in 5 minutes.

Then, he watches Jeonghan who is jogging to his car with a familiar smile on his face, seeping into his skin in full delight as the summer air tousles his hair. Just wearing a blue collared shirt paired with white jeans, he looks simply _pretty_. His eyes follow his direction and they exchange another smile when Jeonghan climbs into the car.

“Good morning.”

Seungcheol volumes down the radio, “Good morning to you too.”

“So where are we going?”

“I don’t know.”

_‘Is this what lovers do?’_

Seungcheol is interested in the question, not quiet why but he wants to answer it – when he is finally in love. It peeks into him when Jeonghan drags him to the lovelock bridge.

He doesn’t know the existence of this certain bridge in Seoul so when Jeonghan says the view there is absolutely splendid, he follows him.

Apart from hundred of couples, they’re standing next to each other, enjoying the waffles that they brought earlier and watching the city under them. Truth to Jeonghan’s word, the sight is blinding because the sun is high above the sky but it doesn’t cover up the beauty of buildings around them. It seems like a painting to Seungcheol’s eyes since the black and white buildings are confined by nature around it and the sun is in the middle of the blue sky, the flowers are still growing, birds are chirping as they fly and they are surrounded by love on the bridge.

So when he turns his head to his side, Jeonghan is standing there, munching on the waffle as he mumbles, “What?”

“It’s pretty, as you said.” He realizes that it’s all a reality and Jeonghan is the proof of the moment that he lives in.

“I come here sometime. When my class ended and I needed a release.” He confesses.

“Isn’t it far?”

“Kinda, but it’s worth it.”

Jeonghan takes out his phone, giggling to his own and takes the picture of the view. Seungcheol watches him.

_Yoon1004._

It dawns on him – all of the pictures Jeonghan have uploaded on his Instagram profile.

“Jeonghan, do you like taking picture?”

Jeonghan leans his back against the railing, elbows perched on it. “I do. I like the pictures that I took.”

Seungcheol ponders and swallows, thinking of next question.

“What kind of picture that you took?”

Jeonghan puts his phone back into the pocket of his jeans, “The one that I like.” He quickly meets his gaze, his bangs falling on his eyelid.

“It must be pretty.” Seungcheol comments before turning away from his stare and breathes in.

“I guess? I upload them on my Instagram and it gets many likes.”

He raises his brows, “See? People like it.”

“Do you have an Instagram account?” He munches on his last bite of the waffle.

“No.” Seungcheol lies.

He throws the paper bag into the trash bin and slides next to Seungcheol as he fishes out his phone, clicking on the camera app.

“Let’s take one of us.”

Seungcheol stumbles backward when his hand sneaks on his arms, feeling all hot. “I’m not good at taking pictures.” He says, palms covering his face.

“Come on, don’t be shy.” Jeonghan smiles at the front camera, shaking their linked arms.

Before Seungcheol can look at the camera, Jeonghan captures it and a frown grows on him. “I’m not ready yet.”

Jeonghan hits his shoulder slightly and gets ready for another picture. “1, 2, 3!”

_Click._

Jeonghan checks the picture as he leans into his phone to block the sunlight. “I can’t see.” He grumbles then, covers his phone from above with a palm in the air. Seeing it, Seungcheol casually leans in too, head almost bumping into Jeonghan’s and uses his both hand at both side of the phone to block the blinding sunlight.

“I can see now.” Jeonghan cheers. “We look good.”

Seungcheol smiles and raises his pupil up to see his reaction, his smile dies.

“I’ve pressed the click button so many times. There are many pictures.”

Realizing that they’re too close, he can’t find anything but his lips – a pale pink – smiling at the picture of them. If he brought his face just few inches closer, he could kiss the joy on his lips; he could feel the curl of his lips against his. He could kiss him with his beating heart.

“I’ll send it to you.”

“Sure.”

He’s now an arm away, took the wish of his heart with him.

“What should we pick?” Jeonghan asks, standing in front of the fruits section, between tangerines and cherries. Seungcheol walks to him and glances over at him.

“What do you like?”

Jeonghan turns at him, not answering yet and Seungcheol blankly stares at him, trying not to react at his heart.

“Cherries?”

Seungcheol simply nods; mouth protruding as he takes the packed cherries and leads the way to hide his red face. Before paying, they grabbed some snacks and beers and exit the supermarket.

Later, Seungcheol finds himself a little dizzy when Jeonghan drives them to a hill through the winding road. They don’t speak throughout the ride and Seungcheol is glad that he doesn’t open his mouth or else he will throw up.

The hill is 30 minutes drive from the lovelock bridge and Jeonghan brought it up to go there since Seungcheol hasn’t seen the place yet.

“It’s not so high. We can chill there.” Jeonghan said earlier on their way to the supermarket to buy snacks to enjoy on the hill.

Upon arriving at the parking lot, Jeonghan taps his arm. “Are you okay?”

Quickly, he rubs his face and mutters a ‘yes’ and gets out of the car. He stretches his body at the chill air, welcoming him. Jeonghan takes out the items that they bought at the supermarket and calls him.

“I’ve never came here.”

Jeonghan scoffs, “You’re so boring! What do you do all your life living in Seoul?”

Seungcheol buries his hand deep into the pocket and shrugs. The air that hits his face is cold since they’re at up and surrounded by greens. He breathes in the nature, shoulders brushing against Jeonghan’s as they walk side by side. The hill has nothing but freshness. He can spot few people laying a mat and sitting on it, having a conversation, kids circling around the big tree, some are jogging and holding a barbecue party.

“Where do you wanna sit?”

Seungcheol spots a hammock and immediately runs toward it. “Here.”

Together, they sit on the dewy grass with their back against a big bark and eyes are latch on the view in front of them. The sight is amazing – sun glides to the west since it’s nearing dawn and the golden rays are painted across the orange sky.

Jeonghan opens the beer with a loud ‘pop’ and hands it to Seungcheol.

“You know a lot of place here.”

“I’m quite pro around this city.”

Seungcheol heaves, “Must be nice to you.”

Knitting his eyebrows, he turns at him. “Why?”

“You can spend time on yourself.” Seungcheol says, not looking at him.

To that, Jeonghan gulps down the beer and throws his stare back at the sky.

“How can you tell? People are different.”

“People are different. You and I are different too – with our lives.”

“True but you should appreciate everything around you.” Now, Seungcheol faces his side profile. “Even though you’re busy, the little things around you make you a little better.”

He can’t deny it that he is finally absorbing the truth in his words.

“Do you want cherries?” Jeonghan asks, already searching for it in the plastic bag.

They share the cherries quietly, talking little, glancing secretly as if no one knows. Seungcheol relaxes once the sweetness fills his throat after the sourness of the fruit explodes in his mouth. Jeonghan is already on his third can of beer but he looks steady, eyes not losing focus so Seungcheol stops at his first drink since he has to drive back home.

The golden rays secretly paint on them, turning their eyes into honey as they share the beauty of the moment.

“Ever since I lost my sense of smell, I began to surround myself around nature. It’s pretty refreshing even though I can’t smell any of it. I don’t even remember the smells anymore.” Jeonghan suddenly speaks, knees pressed against his chest and he plops his head on it, hugging himself. “But it feels good. I like it. As you said, remember people’s scent by nature or things.”

Seuncgcheol listens as he eats the snack. “So my idea is working?”

“Hmm,” Jeonghan plays with his feet. “My noona is wooden spatula, Kwangju is crayons, Areum is leaves, your mom is oranges, your father is laundry scent, Kkuma is marshmallow, Juyeong noona is clay pots.” And he stops right when Seungcheol aches to know.

What is he to him?

Jeonghan buries his face into his knees, already tipsy and Seungcheol doesn’t bother to ask even when he is itching to know. Instead, he rests his head against the bark and closes his eyes, the leaves fall around them and humming a rustle between their unspoken words.

Minutes later when he opens his eyes, the sun is gone and Jeonghan is standing few feet away from him, taking pictures.

“Are you sober?” he asks and stands beside him. Jeonghan’s shoulder tenses at the sudden voice but he takes a picture of him. “Hey,” Seungcheol trails.

“I’ll send this too later.” He laughs. “Do you mind if I upload this on my profile?”

“Sure.” Seungcheol makes a mental note to check out his profile later.

“Let’s go. It’s already dawn.” With that, Jeonghan runs to clean up the cans and the snacks. He ties them in the plastic bag and throws it in the near bin.

Despite dizziness, Seungcheol drives through the curvy road and Jeonghan falls silent next to him. He’s looking outside of the window, illuminated by the lampposts. He drops Jeonghan in front of his apartment and they bid goodbye with exchanging smile. But Seungcheol doesn’t drive home, instead he watches Jeonghan’s back disappearing into the building and smiles once he notices lights are turned on in a unit in the 5th floor.

_“Do you mind if I upload this on my profile?”_

Seungcheol immediately grabs his phone, opens the Instagram app and clicks on Jeonghan’s profile. It takes a moment for him to realize the different emojis used under his post of the picture of them on the lovelock bridge – sun, dried leaves, pink flower and snow.

_Does that mean?_

Not budging from his apartment, Seungcheol rolls down the window to see the lights are still turned on _that_ unit and the corner of his mouth twitches, heart is warming.

Without thinking of anything, he turns off the engine, gets out of his car and locks it before rushing to the 5th floor by stairs. He’s breathless when he checks for Jeonghan’s name on the resident board and scurries to 78th unit. When he’s standing in front of his house, he doesn’t remember the intention of him coming up here and stares at the white door mindlessly as his finger reaches to press the bell.

“Who-,” he pauses. “Cheol?”

Seungcheol is still catching his breath, “Can I come to your house whenever I want?” is what comes out from his heavy breath.

Jeonghan is bewildered, hands enveloping the doorknob with doubts and he blinks at him. His face is red as the cherries they enjoyed together earlier on the hill, maybe because of the alcohol is still in his system and he is holding a toothbrush in his other hand. Seungcheol takes a step front and lowers his gaze to meet his.

“If you aren’t busy,” his voice is dissolving as he phrases the word one by one. “You can always come.” Slightly opening the door, he smiles.

With a grin, Seungcheol lets out a breath and drops his head on the ground. “We’ll be seeing each other more then,”

“I’d love to wait.”

He can’t stop smiling since then, when he runs down the stairs, when he stops at the traffic light, when he walks into his house - the smell of domesticity is billowing in the air - and when he lays on the bed, watching the ceiling as he listens to the playlist given by Jeonghan that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been eating grapes a lot my teeth freezing lol
> 
> actually im excited for next chapter bc we'll be seeing jeonghan's pov [SPOILER ALERT] if u have anything u wanna say to me pls do at
> 
> [cc](https://t.co/QI2P5XovbG) & [twitter](https://t.co/fL7whEd6Oj)
> 
> gimme kudos/comments/subscribe if u love it 
> 
> if u have any songs u wanna recommend, pls tell i'll add it on this fic's playlist


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